billie || billie eilish

12

Landon Orion 

Ashlae was hosting her party in the rooftop on her block of flats, somewhere on the periphery of Bluebell. Billie and I followed her up the wrath iron stairs, her heels tapping against the hollow metal. 

"This is Emma," Ashlae said at the top of the roof, gesturing to a a petite girl, sitting down on a blanket. Her round face flushed. 

Emma waved. "Nice to meet you." 

I nodded. 

"And this is Shay—" 

"—we've met," he said. 

"I hope you don't mind that I brought some friends," Ashlae said in her husky tone of voice. 

"Not at all," Emma sang, precious and innocent, fingers disappearing into Shay's tousled curls. His grey eyes fluttered closed. Looks like someone had a crush. 

I sat down on the blanket beside him, bumping his shoulder playfully. "You've never told me about an Emma before," I teased. "The way the two of you looks at each other..." 

He groaned, embarrassed. "Don't you start with me!"

"Are you going to tell her?" I asked. 

"I'm working on it," he breathed. 

"What's holding you back?" 

"I don't want to ruin our friendship." 

What was holding me back? I stared at Billie from across the roof, watching her lean into Ashlae. She threw her head back, midnight blue curls cascading down her slight shoulders, laughing at something Ashlae said. 

What was holding me back? She was right there. Right there. 

"Billie here is offering any willing participant a role in her twisted documentary," Ashlae said, pouring herself a glass of Vietnamese coffee from the jug on the blanket. 

"Is anyone interested?" 

"I mean," Billie said, giving me a look I couldn't decipher. "I know that you're really buzzy with uni stuff, Shay. You don't have to if you don't want to." 

"Actually," he began saying. "Landon had offered me the lead role and I've accepted." 

Her face falls. It's like the planets had halted in its orbit of the Sun. The moon stopped rising. Billie got up off the blanket and hurried down the wrath iron steps. The wind picked up and her midnight blue hair splintered, tossing up around her hunched shoulders. 

Ashlae nudged me. "Go after her." 

"What's wrong with her?" I asked, already getting to my feet. "What's the matter?" 

"Just go," she insisted. 

I followed Billie down the stairs. "Billie. Stop! Wait up." 

She had her back turned to me, the autumn drizzle pelting her skin. I shrugged off my coat, draping it over her shivering shoulders. "Are you okay? Did...did I do something wrong?" 

We're at the bottom of the wrath iron stairs. The frigid rain blinded me, hanging off of the ends of my curls in fat drops. "Billie?" 

She didn't say anything. I inhaled, walking up to her. "Tell me what's the matter," I breathed, resting my chin on her shoulder. Her breath caught. "Please, tell me what I did wrong." 

She leaned into me, breathing laborious. I hugged her waist. "Why did you ask him without talking to me first?" 

"I didn't know it would be a problem," I said. "We needed actors." 

"I didn't want him anywhere near you," she admitted. 

"That doesn't tell me anything," I insisted. "What is the matter?" 

Billie turned in my arms and then hugged me. She hid her face in the crook of my neck. I choked. What the hell was she doing? 

"Don't make me say it," she begged, her breath hot against my skin. 

I think I was going to black out. "Say what?" 

And maybe without realising, I made me decision then. I decided to take the can of worms labeled Grace Pattin and throw it at the wall, split it wide open. Throw caution to the wind.