TWENTY-SIX

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When those liquid gold eyes snap on mine across the ward, I realise why people value gold so much. They say humans are attracted physically and emotionally to it. Gold doesn't corrode, meaning it's more sustainable and reliable. It's also rare enough to hold value, but not too rare to make money with it. His eyes and hair might be the colour of gold, but Nick is my gold, and I realise for the first time just how precious gold can be.

"I'm due a break. Give me a minute. We can go downstairs," he whispers. I watch him walk into the staff room. Within a minute he reappears, shrugging his hoodie on. I press the button for the lift, trying to look inconspicuous.

Neither of us speak until we're outside the front of the hospital with the usual hustle-bustle. The cold late-February air hits my body despite my coat, and I shiver. It dawns on me that it'll be March in just over a week and spring. Meaning it'll be nearly three months since Joel was taken ill.

"What happened?" Nick asks, breaking my trance.

I stand in front of him as he perches on the wall, and I bury my head in his chest. I listen to his heavy sigh as his arms fold around me, pushing me more into his chest. He smells like medicine; not the nicest smell, but mixed with that signature aftershave of his, it makes me feel like I'm home more than Joel ever did. Nick is my medicine, come to think of it.

"He's been having an affair for a year," I answer. He heaves another sigh before pressing a kiss into my hair. "I... told him I'd kissed someone else. Or well, his mother told him when she overheard me, but yeah. We've both cheated, but it still hurts. I didn't expect it to."

"That's natural," he says. "It'll be all right."

"A whole year... that's half our relationship just... I don't understand. He told me he wanted to use the time he has when he gets out of the hospital to fix things between us, but how... he told me she was his girlfriend before I met him, and now she's back and— Nick... and he wanted to fix our relationship—"

"Hey," he says when my voice stops. He guides my head so we're looking into each other's eyes. "This situation can't have been easy for either of you. He's probably gotten himself confused and messed up. I imagine he's realised that his life is too short and to grasp happiness. Take this as a good thing—"

"How is my husband having a year-long affair a good thing?"

"Because now you know and now you have your reason to be free, Aspen. I know you've been feeling guilty about your decision to get that divorce, and now you don't have to."

I remember the story about Icarus and how he flew too close to the sun – he wanted to escape and get freedom from the labyrinth he was imprisoned in. The myth says that Icarus got too arrogant after learning he could fly and flew too close to the sun despite his father's warnings, and he burnt his feathers off. He fell into the sea and drowned.

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