2022 WATTYS SHORTLISTED || After being forced into a marriage by her devoutly religious parents, Aspen's husband is diagnosed with a life-limiting illness, and she must find her purpose as well as fight feelings for her husband's nurse. || Aspen Wat...
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I sit down opposite my dad. He's already got me a hot chocolate, and his coffee is already half-drunk. He fixes his glasses as I get comfortable.
"Aspen," he greets. It's funny because the first thing I expect him to notice is the engagement ring, or mention my mother, but he stares right into my eyes, father to daughter. "How are you?"
"I'm okay, thank you. How are you?" I reply.
When I was smaller, I'd watch films with him a lot. A few of them had moments in them where the hero would pass out or get hurt and time would almost stop. It's this hold-your-breath, a sit-on-the-edge-of-your-seat moment where you can't breathe – how is the film going to go without the hero? Will it be as good without them? What's going to happen?
And then they get up and fight on. All is well again, and you can breathe and relax.
Except with my dad, it's a constant sit-on-the-edge-of-the-seat moment. I'm hoping I can sit back at some point, but I will never forgive him for standing by at my late husband's funeral and letting Mum speak to me like that. I know I need to get over it, but it's more than that.
"Honestly? Not so good right now, Aspen," he answers. I take a sip of my drink and let him lead the conversation. "Your mother and I... we're not in a good place like I told you."
"How so?" I ask, pretending with all my might to be sympathetic. While I do care about my dad, I'm not surprised it's come to this. My mother is forceful and controlling and hides it all behind her religion.
When people say they see the light, they usually refer to seeing the light of God and Jesus and they become born-again Christians, as they say. But my light leads me to a brand new lightbulb in a lamp called reality.
"It's taken me a long time, Aspen, and I will admit I have not been the best... father or person, but you have been right all along. I still have my faith, but your mother takes it too far. She... she is hysterical, manic... it's cultist, almost. It's taken us losing you for me to see it—"
"Dad, you stood by at my late husband's funeral and let her make a scene. What she said was unforgivable."
"I never said I was right, Aspen. I apologise profusely for that. But your mother and I can't seem to come to a logical conclusion any longer. Everything is an argument; she's fixated on the idea of you and Nicholas—" He stops speaking and takes a sip of his drink.
"She can't get over the fact that I had Gabriel adopted, can she?" I ask. Dad shakes his head, so I carry on. "The funny thing is, she was the one who's always been against terminations, she's the one who told me I was not fit to be a mother. What did she want me to do? Stick the baby in the basket of reeds and put him on a river? Fitting, really."
