Voodoo Doll // cth

seven

"You can go to your room, angel." Mom laughs as I twiddle my thumbs nervously. My eyes jolt up to meet hers, not believing her. "What? I know you, I was your age once."

I give a look to Calum before standing up and leading him out of the room. He follows me towards my bedroom and enters it quietly, looking around as if he's on the set of a movie.

"It's not exactly the way I would want my room to look, but I don't really get visitors." I shut the door and allow him to look around a bit more as I try to tidy it up a bit. His eyes land on the photos on the walls. "Those are pictures that mom took at dad's concerts."

The last pictures I saw were the missing person posters with Calum's face on them. They're everywhere.

"You never told me your dad was in a band." He turns to look at me and I shrug.

"You never asked."

He turns to look back up at the pictures, almost as if they're telling him a story he's been wanting to hear for ages. "Your parents seem to really love each other."

"Yeah, they do." I nod quietly, grabbing the crystals out of my pockets and putting them onto the table next to my bed.

"Is this you?" He asks, pointing his index finger towards a photo from when I wasn't even a year old and dad insisted on bringing me up on stage.

"Yeah, he nearly dropped me a few times that night." I laugh, sitting down on my bed. "I don't want to talk about myself right now, let's talk about you."

He turns to face me, walking over to the bed and sitting next to me. He keeps his eyes on me, his gaze feeling softer than usual. More vulnerable. "What do you want to know?"

"Something no one else knows. Something random."

He looks away, training his eyes on a spot on the floor before letting out a sigh. "I don't know why, but I always feel like I'm not enough."

He hated himself. He always thought the world was out to get him and he thought no one would miss him if he disappeared. Truth is, I've never missed anyone more.

I feel my heart break at his words, not knowing how to respond. I watch him with sad eyes, wanting to take all of his pain and throw it at someone that deserves it. I want to come for all of his demons and dark corners, shining a blinding light on them so he never feels this way again. I never want anyone to feel this way.

"You're wrong." I whisper, causing him to shake his head.

"Yeah, I knew you would say that."

"Do you know what bothers me?" I ask, speaking proudly to catch his attention. He slightly turns his body towards me and I let out a sigh after pausing for a short while. "The Gods gave us the gift to live. We get to live, love, cry, scream, yell, fall and get back up again all because they chose that for us yet we somehow choose not to take chances when they're given to us. We don't take that leap of faith because we're afraid and that bothers me so much." I look down at my hands and let out an unsteady breath. "I moved here when I was eleven and I remember thinking that this was going to be my new favourite place. Here I am, six years later, sitting in front of one of the most intimidating guys in this horrid town and I don't even know what I want to do or say."

Hug him, kiss him, tell him how much he means to you because you won't always get that chance.

I stop talking, feeling as though I've said too much when he chooses to respond. "Truth is, I'm not scared of many things, but you terrify me."

"I terrify you?"

The way he looked at me that night proved that he was telling the truth. He was watching me as if my next move was going to be slitting his throat.