Voodoo Doll // cth

nine

To explain my side of the story, I have to explain Calum's as well. Since his absence hurts so bad, I want to apologize. I understand that this story is depressing and it has too many twists and turns for those that are scared of the dark, but there are people that are willing to listen. People that are willing to uncover the deeper meanings in my words.

This story is terrifying to me. It's a chapter that I doubt even the mentally ill would be able to imagine. I hate that it has become this type of story, but happy endings are for the weak. They're not real.

I have decided to add some light into these dark twists and turns, because what's the point of experiencing a storm if you don't get to see the flowers that bloom afterwards? This is a bit of those flowers. This is an okay day amidst all of those bad ones.

I'm not a bad person, I'm a scared one. I didn't harm that body, I hid it. I don't know what Calum did, but I doubt he is the one that killed her. He wouldn't have done something like that.

Although, I know one person that would.

Today I've been journaling and I made sure to add how I feel that Calum should only have feelings for me if he wants to, not if I have a hunch. After finishing the rest of my entry, I set the book down and walk downstairs.

I quietly make some tea and grab two water bottles before walking back upstairs, gently knocking on my door before opening it. Calum sluggishly rolls over, sleep still masking any emotion that could be in his eyes.

I close the door before walking towards the bed. "Hey, how did you sleep?"

I keep my voice quiet in case he has a migraine, not wanting to make him hurt any worse. He sits up, looking up at me. "Fine, I'm sorry about last night."

"Oh, it's fine." I shake my head, setting the cup of tea and two bottles of water on the nightstand. I pause for a moment, noticing that the crystal I gave him a few nights ago is lying on the table. "Ashton wants me to text him once you realize that you're still alive, so he can come and get you."

He runs his hands through his hair before rubbing his face, letting out an irritated groan. I back away from the bed and choose to sit at my desk, watching as he goes through a few emotions before speaking. "Of course he did."

Something seemed off that day. It seemed as if he had a secret about Ashton that no one knew. Something he felt would ruin his friend's reputation.

"Do you not want him to pick you up? If not, I can ask my mom if she'll take you home." I tilt my head, trying to figure out what's going on in his head.

He looks up at me, a flash of emotion washing over his eyes too fast for me to recognize before he looks away. He takes one of the bottles of water and sips it quietly, standing up. I rise from my spot as well, trying to find any way that I can make my past actions up to him. "I have aspirin, if you need them."

"I'm fine." He whispers, stepping towards the door. He closes the water bottle and stops when I suck in a breath, preparing to apologize. "You don't have to apologize, if that's what you're about to do."

I stare at his back profile in silence, closing my mouth. I find the courage, somewhere deep in my body, opening my mouth again. "I'm still sorry."

He turns around, a hint of amusement in his eyes. He steps towards me as I subconsciously back away, not knowing why. He notices my movements and smiles, squinting his eyes.

"Do I make you nervous, Adeline?" His question is more of a teasing statement rather than a literal question. I swallow, my throat burning as my heart rate quickens. He steps towards me as I freeze in place, allowing him to get impossibly closer. "Come on Adeline, I asked a question."