strings & bullets┃hajeongwoo (under revision)

〚 ch: one 〛

“NO!” his eyes shot open as he abruptly sits up. jeongwoo's head throbs, his chest rises and falls violently, and his body hurts for whatever reason.

it's happening again...

he clasps his trembling palms. he is drenched in cold sweat and his lips quiver, oblivious to the single tear cascading down his right cheek. jeongwoo sighs profusely, his lips still tremble. he then lifts his head and closes his eyes, allowing himself to relax in silence.

a few minutes later, he can hear his calm breathing. it was quiet, but his mind is still in disarray, he couldn't understand why it all went wrong. it's been this way for two years, but he's still not used to it, and he'll never be. he just wants it to stop.

“i don't want this anymore.”

“i- im tired, please” he sobbed. Everything is just too painful.

he wants to end his misery, he wants to end his life, but he realizes that if he does that, he will make a coward out of himself. he won't do it, because he has jio to look after.

gradually opening his eyes and biting his lower lip, jeongwoo veers to the side and slowly grabs the picture frame on his side table. as his thumb slowly caresses the figure of a familiar man on the picture frame, his chest begins to ache, and a subtle smile appears on the corner of his mouth.

ah right, i lost you.

it was a photograph of him and his friend junghwan taken on the day of their graduation. junghwan had his arms around jeongwoo, and both of them were smiling while carrying flowers and certificates.

a tear then trickles down his eye, and he had a pained look on his face. he let him down. junghwan was there for him when he needed a friend, and he supported him without saying anything and without hesitation. he took care of him and treated him like his brother.

but he was gone... and it was all his fault

"i- if only i was strong enough b- back then, i'm sorry" he swallowed back a sob. a lump forms in his throat as he tries hard not to cry.

he blamed himself for junghwan's death, believing that he's the one who caused it. he would have not died if he had been strong enough to protect him, to save him.

with a sigh, he places the frame back on his side table. it was dark inside his room, with only a sliver of moonlight filtering in through his open window. he shifts his gaze to the window, realizing how gracefully the fabric flutters in the wind. the moon peeking in, as enticing as ever, and the stars twinkling across the night sky. as the cold wind enters the room, jeongwoo shudders.

the moon is awake and the night is cold, it's a peaceful night, but his mind is in turmoil.

"if only i could turn back time," jeongwoo thought to himself, sighing.

"officer.."

he froze, his eyes wide with fear, and his hands in his lap begin to fidget.

he can hear the leaves rustling in the wind, now howling like a storm. fine hairs rises at the back of his neck, chills creeping up his spine. his mind went blank, and sweat beads begin to form in his temples.

"help.. us.. please.."

with a bomb wrapped around her frail body, she sat powerless in her seat. the girl looked at him with eyes begging for help, her face soaked in tears.

fear washes over him as his body refuses to move. “stop! please stop.. ” his lips begin to quiver as he begs for the voice to stop.