Call of Duty : Incorrect Quotes

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Behold... episode 2 of Call of Duty: Villains Pub! Today's chapter is wayyy longer than usual, but I just love the idea of MW and BO villains gathering around in a pub and today's episode will feature the main antagonist of the game we shall not mention. 

One day, everyone was hanging around on the pub while Shepherd was sitting on the dunking booth as a punishment of losing a game of Truth or Dare. Everyone got along much better than before because the game that was suggested by Makarov proved itself to be a fun one to play by the villains. The fun then continued on until Savannah broke in the door, panting heavily and with an angry look on her face.

V. Zakhaev: Look who it is, the party pooper. *rolls his eyes*

Al-Asad: Can we just continue the game now? I just wanna know who'll be the loser, finish the Shepherd in the tank!

Zakhaev: What's going on right there, darling?

Savannah, huffing: People are hating on me for no reason, I didn't even do anything in my game other than bringing back fan favorites like Woods and Mason and yet they don't even like me for it? I gave you guys the fanservice, why can't you guys be grateful for once?!

Menendez: *strums his guitar* Maybe you did it wrong? Fanservice sounds like an easy thing, but you have to it right to really make the fans happy, Ms. Mason.

Kravchenko: Did you only bring these two idiots back or do you also brought back many others to life?

Savannah: Hmm... There's my grandfather, Frank Woods, Viktor Reznov, Jason Hudson, and even you, Menendez. I brought you back to life in my Project Blackout and you didn't even thank me?? Good fucking lord, you guys are so ungrateful!

Dragovich: Tch, you shouldn't jump into conclusions just yet, young lady.

Steiner: I'm confused, did you brought back both Mason and Reznov? I swear Mason claimed that he's Reznov and that he-

Savannah: I brought them back because they're fan favorites!

Makarov: Malishka... you didn't even have a real goal. *drapes his arm over her shoulder* You only brought back the dead to life and they're probably just simulation AIs that you shoved into a battle royale arena kids these days love. I myself am a terrorist, but at least I had a clearer goal and people still love me for that because they made me a memorable villain.

Perseus: What makes you a not-so-great villain was that they made your goals and backstory very lame and underwhelming compared to us. Especially with me, Vladimir, and Raul.

*everyone laugh*

V. Zakhaev: Oooh, he's speaking facts!

Zakhaev: Victor, even though we didn't get much screentime and lines in our game... I'm so proud of you for being a wonderful son.

Savannah: WILL YOU GUYS JUST SHUT UP???

Al-Asad: No, we won't stop roasting you and we probably never will.

Kravchenko, chuckling: Not until you admit why you fucked your grandpa's best friend, kiska.

Everyone: oooOOOHHH

Steiner: I didn't know you were a creep who made out with what's supposed to be the man who raised your dad and also your pops' best friend. And that is none other than Frank Woods.

Savannah: Guys, I can explain!

Menendez: Your backstory didn't get us interested at all, you just brought back the dead, had a cat fight with your sister, and that's it. My life is way rougher than yours as I spent my childhood living during the Nicaraguan revolution... and I lost the one person who meant a lot to me, Josefina.

Makarov: Perseus and I both wanted to bring back the Soviet union to its former glory. You know, you have to plan out your attacks well and prepare a backup plan in case you're being hunted so that you can escape. That's what makes us great. *fist bumps with Perseus*

Perseus: I'm so glad fans liked us.

Savannah: Y-you... you didn't even accept me as a villain for what I did in my game?

Everyone: *nod in agreement*

Makarov: Now let's bring her to the dunk tank with Shepherd and dunk them now.

Dragovich: Shove them in the same tank, comrade.

*Savannah is then brought into the dunk tank with a grumpy Shepherd sitting there*

Shepherd: I hate you guys.

Savannah, shrugging: Well, it seems like everyone hates both of us.

Everyone: YAY!! DUNK THEM! DUNK THEM! DUNK THEM!

Makarov: *throws a ball into the target, hitting the bull's eye and so the poor victims fell into the water tank*

Menendez: Now that's what I call a bonding time and who's up for a trivia night after this, guys?

Perseus: I'm in.

Dragovich: This will definitely be embarrassing but it seems fun.

V. Zakhaev: Can we make the trivia night this time about the heroes instead of the villains? I mean, I'm curious to see how well you guys know the heroes of your game.

Makarov: Then let's make this a Heroes' Trivia Night. *smirks devilishly*