A Life Wasted

Change of Heart

Through the first week of October I was really torn about what to do. Immediately after the September 11th terrorist attacks I had decided that I would not do anything against the abortion clinics for at least a year. I don't claim to be a good guy, nor a good citizen, but I do love my country and to my core consider myself patriotic. I have no doubt that many people would argue this point with me, for which I would not have much of a defense. But I will say that no matter what I have done as a criminal, and I've done more than most, I draw the line when it comes to my country. I believe in America. I love my country and I would fight for it. If you don't know me you might not believe I love my country, but this is truly how I feel.

Given this is how I thought, I didn't want to contribute to the national panic in any way. So I had decided to lay low and not do anything that could disrupt the nation's peace. I was taken aback when the FBI made me the 467th person to be placed on its most wanted list. Nor did I get how I could be the only guy in history to reach the FBI, US Marshals, and ATF's Most Wanted List. (This is a record I still hold). I really didn't like being called a "domestic terrorist." This actually pissed me off. Nor did I understand how I could be considered the most wanted man in America in the aftermath of all that had happened earlier in the month. I understood that I had broken the law, escaped, and even made some serious threats, but I had never actually harmed anyone in my life. I even paid the guy I car jacked. I mean, really, what type of guy does that? Certainly not a dangerous guy.

So I was pretty upset about all the attention. Even though I was trying not to be a distraction, the government seemed determined to make me one. Yet I remained committed to not causing any more trouble. Then one night watching the news I saw a revised number on the deaths caused by the combined terrorist attacks from September 11th. That number was very close to the number of abortions that occurred daily in America. Since I believe abortion is the murder of an innocent baby it was natural for me to equate the number killed on the 9/11 terrorist attacks to the similar number of daily abortions.

I had been grieving with the rest of the nation over the 3,000 plus people killed by foreign terrorist, yet we allowed that many innocent babies to be legally killed every day. The comparison hit me hard and changed the way I was thinking. Like flipping a switch, I went from not willing to do anything to resolve that I must. I still couldn't harm anyone, but I could go back to the doctrine of "Deception as a Tactic." All I had to do was figure out how to do it. I wouldn't have to wait long.