A Life Wasted

Courting & Marriage

Mary left in a hurry during the telethon. Her parents were staying another week and Mary had planned to go home with them but out of the blue Larry Black showed up from Ohio to take her home. Larry wasn't Mary's boyfriend, just another poor soul chasing her. I remember standing in the parking lot with Mary the night she left. With poor Larry sitting in his car watching as we held hands. We talked like more than friends then with a hug, but no kiss she climbed into Larry's car and was off to Ohio.
The telethon lasted another day and when it was over I had time to think. All I could think about was Mary. I called her at home. We talked for a long time, then the next night I called her and we talked again. She wanted to move to Tidewater and get a job at CBN so we talked about that regularly. I've never been one to just talk about stuff so I made an earnest effort to find a place for Mary to live. I did ask around about a job for her, but it wasn't an honest effort. CBN had a strict policy against husband and wife employees so I knew Mary would never work there. We were going to be married too soon for that.

So that Thursday night when I called her I told her I had rented an apartment for her, that wouldn't be available for two weeks, and in that time she had a place to stay with Nancy, a young woman in the Programming department that Mary had met. Mary told me I was moving too fast, that it would take her at least a month to arrange everything. I'd already arranged with Ken to borrow his pickup truck for the weekend, so I told Mary I would be on her doorstep early Saturday morning to get her and that she'd better have her stuff packed and waiting on the porch, then hung up on her. She tried to call back but I wouldn't answer the phone. The next day, Friday, she called me at CBN but I wouldn't take the call. She left messages that I shouldn't come this weekend, which meant nothing to me. Friday night after work I drove out to Ken's got in his pickup and made the 500 mile trip to Ohio.

I arrived in the tiny hamlet of Braceville, Ohio early Saturday morning. Her stack of boxes weren't on the porch, but they were stacked in the garage. Easier to load. That day I met her boyfriend Steve, who didn't realize he was about to lose the woman he loved. It was tough being around them because they were still a couple, but I managed to endure it without hurting him. It was a near thing, though. Sunday morning we headed out. We drove half the 500 miles before we had our first kiss. We arrived at Nancy's house late, but made plans to see each other the next night. After work I took her to a Denny's for a hot fudge Sunday, still Mary's favorite. After she took her first bite I asked her to marry me. We'd known each other for two weeks. The ten hour drive from Ohio to Virginia was equal to the amount of time we'd spent together before that, so we'd spent about twenty hours together and four hours on the phone. Still, I knew she'd say yes. I knew she would because I knew she was my soul mate. She asked about the date and I said tomorrow. Too fast, she said. Her dad had to give her away. Okay, I said, next week. She said she always wanted a May wedding. I suggested May first, but she said she wanted lilacs and they didn't bloom until the second week of May. And she wanted to be married on Friday, in her dad's church. So I said, "Deal. The second Friday of May."

In the short time between our engagement and marriage Mary and I began the life-long journey of getting to know each other. I would soon learn that this woman was not such a simple creature. A few events during this time stand out. A few days after our engagement Mary and I were washing the CBN car in a city park that sat on the James River. In the course of this Mary sprayed me with the water hose. My response was to chase her down then carry her to the James River and throw her in. It didn't take me long to figure out that my wild philly of a wife occasionally wanted to be reminded that I was able to handle her. That day was the first of many such demonstrations. A few days later it was she who showed me who was in charge. We had driven out to Pat's that night to deliver the format. Pat lived in a remote property with a livestock gate across his drive. Coming and going I'd have to get out, open the gate, pull thru, then close it. When leaving I got out to open the gate and Mary slid across the seat and drove the car through so that I could close the gate. It made perfect sense until I tried to get back in the car. As I approached the car she hit the gas, the stopped ten feet beyond me. A game of catch the car. This repeated twice more until I got "smart" and made a fast dash to jump on the car. She pulled forward slowly so I climbed up on the roof. At that point she accelerated to about twenty miles an hour, then locked the brakes. Predictable I flew forward a considerable distance then rolled about five feet in the gravel. Either I shouldn't have thrown her in the river or I should have held her under after I did. I'm never able to get it quite right, though I do enjoy the challenge of trying. There are other stories I'd get in trouble if I told, but I will say this: the preacher's daughter I married only looks sweet and harmless.

The second Friday of May turned out to be Friday the thirteenth. It was unseasonably cool so I had a difficult time finding lilacs, but managed the morning of the wedding. I even asked for permission before cutting them. We were married the evening of May 13, 1977 in the Braceville Ohio United Methodist Church, where Mary's dad was the pastor. Thirty-nine years ago. I love her more today than I did then, and I was crazy about her then. We drove away in our "new" $100 Ford Maverick, which was held together with bondo and duct tape. It was then that I made my first promise to my wife. I told her I couldn't promise her wealth, but I did promise her my love. I should have left it there, but I went on to promise that being my wife would never be boring.

Of course we were broke, so for our honeymoon we went backpacking in the Shenandoah Mountains, which were conveniently on the way back to Portsmouth. Since it was a late wedding we stopped at a Holiday Inn off the Pennsylvania Turnpike for our first night, then continued the next morning. The spot we wanted to camp was near a large waterfall, deep in a mountain valley. The only way to get to it was to park on the Blue Ridge Parkway then hike down the mountain. It didn't look too far on the map, but hiking down the mountain trail turned out to be an all day trek. Once near the waterfall we set our tent up in a nice spot next too a creek well off the trail. I started a fire and Mary made supper while I gathered more firewood. While we ate I heard something moving in the woods behind me. It sounded like a man moving slowly through the woods, getting close with each step. Mary asked me if I heard that so I held my finger to my lip for her to be quiet. As I listened I weighed my options. My only weapon was the small hatchet which I'd already picked up. The sun was setting so it would be dark soon. Unlike the time when I was a kid outside of Clarksville, Georgia, this time I had seen Deliverance, so was leery of strangers in the woods. Believing it was better to deal with whoever was out there on my terms and while I still had enough light to see, I jumped up suddenly and ran into the woods towards the sound.

After a thorough search I found nothing, not even a tack, so I was feeling a little silly when I returned to our fire. Mary didn't seem the least bit alarmed. She knew I would protect her. That's not a boast, but a fact. Mary's always been confident I would protect her. In the last light of the day we went to the creek to wash our dishes. I still had the hatchet in one hand and my metal camp dish in the other when we stepped over a small rise to reach the creek. Crossing the creek ten feet in front of us we found the source of the noise. A large black bear, its fur still matted and ugly from winter, was crossing the creek, walking on all fours straight into our camp.

Mary and I backed slowly out of the bear's line of sight and back into the camp. There was no choice but to leave the camp. It was dusk, and getting dark fast so I took an extra five seconds to pick up our flash light before we ran for the trail.