A Life Wasted

Ode to Kodiak

The two guys settled down at Billy's threat.  I said, "Cut the gear.  If this passes then we'll come back and pick the other end.  But right now that gear's got us anchored to the bottom in a nasty sea.  One wave from the wrong direction and we're all dead.  Cut the gear.  Now."  They grumbled but filed out.  Billy gave me the gun then went to help them.  The guys were stopped by Billy's act long enough to think.  They were seasoned enough to know that they had to follow my orders.  If they didn't they would be guilty of piracy on the high seas.  All I would have to do is call the Coast Guard.  The Coast Guard wouldn't be able to get to our boat in this mess, but they would have two armed Coast Guard Petty Officers waiting on the dock when I got in.  They would detain the two and hand them over to the FBI who would arrest them on federal piracy charges.  They knew this, so they backed down.

They were not, however, happy about it.  I put the pistol in my waste band, moved the rifle closer and watched them close.  Billy actually cut the gear.  Once he did the boat was no longer anchored to the sea bed so I was able to turn it into the sea rather than be swamped sideways by the waves.  The results was an instant relief.  The two crew guys came in, walked past me without a word and went below.  Billy followed and stood with me.  I handed him the pistol and thanked him.  Billy simply nodded and said, "I hope you made the right call."  I wasn't surprised that Billy backed me up, but I was taken aback that he questioned my judgment.

We were running west towards Three Saints Bay on Kodiak Island when I heard the Mayday call from the skipper we'd been fishing near.  I called him back but there was no response.  Multiple times I tried with no response.  "Get those guys up here," I told Billy.  They were bitter and angry, but didn't argue when I told them what I'd heard and that I was turning back to look for survivors.

The seas had become so bad in the time since we cut our gear that the simple procedure of turning around became complicated and dangerous.  In my eagerness to save those guys I made my turn too tight and nearly lost the boat and our lives.  It took me twenty minutes to reach the place I had last seen the other boat.  Once there we didn't see any sign of the boat, nor any detritus from it's sinking.  Repeated calls on the radio went unanswered.  Visibility was low due to wave foam in the air, so Billy climbed our mast and tied himself on.  Multiple times we were covered with waves so large that Billy, tied to the mast nearly drowned.  After two hours of searching I finally gave it up when one of the crew came to me in hysterical tears begging me to make for shore.

They had a right to be scared.  I was scared.  The seas were crazy.  "You sure you guys don't want to drop gear and fish," I asked.  "You wanted to keep fishing earlier, now you're begging to go a shore.  Which is it?"  In tears the guy said, "Shore, please.  Shore."  There are very few times in my life when I felt like I'd been a bully, but this was one.  I'd done everything right that day except for the way I treated this scared and broken man.

When I called Billy in he was soaked and choking on sea water.  He was also smiling.  He said he wanted to do that again.  The seas were so bad it took us twenty-two hours to travel ninety miles to reach Three Saints Bay, then another six hours to reach Old Harbor at the end of the bay.  We tied up to the processer ship anchored there and sold our catch.  As I write this I can't remember how much we made, but I do recall it was the best pay day I'd had in quite a while.  Despite everything else, the crew was happy with their share.  When I paid them the two guys apologized for what they had done and told me I'd been right, if we stayed on our gear we'd be dead now. 

We thought the other boat had sunk.  I believed this until while researching for this book I had Becky pull up the names of all the fishing boats that had sunk in Alaska.  To my great surprise there wasn't one in the time frame I recall off the south east corner of Kodiak Island.  This is a mystery I don't understand.  I've spent my life believing I should have searched longer, so I'm relieved to find out that those guys didn't die out there.  One less thing to feel guilty about.