Jimin's Smile

Chapter 8

~Jimin~

Jimin glowered from afar. When Miyoung told him she loves him, it did things to him. It is completely different from when Haeun told him that she loves him that night he went to see her.

When Jimin came to, he went to Miyoung, only to see Jungkook and her touching one another. He didn't like that.

Seeing Jimin there, Jungkook told Miyoung to rest and Miyoung did so without questioning. That's when Jungkook made his way towards Jimin. Jimin reached out, grabbing his arm to stop Jungkook from leaving to his room.

"Even if she doesn't want me anymore," Jimin said in a cold voice, "I won't give her to you."

In response to this, Jungkook just sneered and then shook Jimin's hand from him before walking off.

Jimin's attention went to Miyoung's door and he made his way there. After knocking twice, he threw the door open and saw Miyoung with her back towards him.

He stepped into the room and closed the door behind him, eyes never leaving Miyoung. The girl who just told him that she loves him.

"Miyoung."

She stilled. "What are you doing here?"

Jimin hesitated. "Let's talk."

"I don't want to talk. Not now."

~Miyoung~

I didn't like this at all. The fact that Jimin was sitting on my bed with me sitting beside him, with me trying to put space between us. It didn't work because he turned his body towards mine, holding onto my hand. This was how we used to resolve conflict. It brought back so many memories.

"I'm going to be honest with you," Jimin said, softly. "So I need you to be honest with me too, okay?"

I just nodded.

"When I found out that you were pregnant," he began in a quiet voice. "I wasn't sure how to feel. I... was scared. You and I both know that celebrities who get pregnant before marriage is frowned upon. I—didn't want to let my fans down or hurt them. It's already bad enough that they don't know you and I dated."

That, I understood. I didn't know why he was telling me this though so I stayed quiet.

"I was happy," he said with a small smile. "Knowing that you're pregnant with my baby, I'm happy."

My heart skipped at that. I didn't expect to hear that from him.

"I can't give you the world you dream of, Miyoung," he said. I could hear the hurt in that line. I didn't need the world. Not when I have him. "But I want to tell you that before you were my girlfriend, you were one of my closest friends. Even though things are like this now, you are still and will forever be one of the people I cherish more than anything."

"And Haeun?" I asked, quietly. "Do you... want to give her the world then?"

Jimin hesitated and then sighed. "I'm not sure what happened with Haeun and I, honestly. I'll have you know that it's true that I went to see her that night but that was because I received a text from her, asking to meet."

I swallowed at that, "And?"

"She wanted this to work out," he murmured. "I think she'd be happy regardless of my situation. Haeun accepts it."

Well, isn't she a good person.

"But," Jimin said, quietly. "I turned it down."

I looked at him, my heart thumping as I wait for his next words. Jimin chose his words carefully before saying, "Being with her will hurt you and I can't have that. Not now."

My lips curled into a wry smile. "Because I'm pregnant."

Jimin shook his head. "No. I intend to take responsibility for it. Besides..." his eyes softened. "I think I'm happy and somewhat glad that it's you who got pregnant. You'd make a great mother."

I felt tears sting my eyes. "Y-yeah?"

"So, I'm scared too," he admitted with a bitter smile. "When the news gets out, things will get really messy. You and I have really short fuse and because we're no longer together like before, it will complicate things."

I blinked the tears away, "You want us to get along?" I guessed.

Jimin nodded slowly. "Yeah."

I closed my eyes briefly, letting everything we've talked about absorbed in. In all honesty, it sucks when the man you love is unable to say those words back to you. It really hurts. It left me thinking about why and whether there was something wrong with me. How could something so beautiful suddenly turn out like this?

Opening my eyes, I grabbed hold of my stomach, tears pricking my eyes. Being pregnant is something I don't want. I don't want kids. No. It's more like I can't have kids.

I see his eyes focused on the tears leaving marks down my cheeks as I struggled to tell Jimin the truth. He beat me to it.

"I... hate making you cry," he murmured as he wiped at my tears with his thumbs gently before clasping on my hand again.

"I love you," I whispered. The words came out on its own.

Jimin stiffened.

I smiled.

"Don't," he rasped. "Don't say those words again."

I just smiled even though having him tell me my love is a burden, still makes my heart ached. Maybe if I told him I love him back then; things wouldn't be like this now.

Jimin's hand tightened its grip on mine, "I won't be able to say it back, Miyoung so don't say it again."

With my free hand, I reached up and caress his cheek, trying so hard not to fall apart. "You're precious, Jimin. That is why any woman would fight anyone just so you'll keep smiling."

He lets go of my hand and gently pulled my hand away from his face. "Miyoung-ah."

I shook my head, cutting him off from what he's about to say. If I didn't get pregnant, I would never step foot in his life again because a part of me regrets falling for him. If... if I got go back in time, I would have walked away. But I can't, can I? I have to face this head on because I didn't walk away from him. I got to know him and I fell in love with him. Someone who can't give me the world. Someone who can't cherish and love me like my father does to my mother.

So, I smiled at him, hoping that it won't come out fake or tense. Then, in a quiet voice, I said to him, "Let's do our best to get along from now on."

Jimin looked relieved.

I tightened my grip on his hand and then continued on, "But when the time comes, Jimin," I whispered. "You will have to me go, okay?" 

Because you don't have a choice, I thought to myself. And neither do I.