Jimin's Smile

Chapter 16

~Jimin~

Jimin wasn't too surprised over the next few days. He and Miyoung were getting along these days and sometimes, just sometimes, his heart flutters when he sees her smile at him.

Just like that day, Jimin thought to himself. He watched as Jungkook and Miyoung were making something in the kitchen, laughing and smiling.

Jimin rest his chin on his palm while resting his elbow on the balcony. He let himself remember the times when he and Miyoung were so in love. A smile crossed Jimin's lips as he watched Jungkook flicked a finger at Miyoung's forehead despite feeling a bit jealous by how close they were standing together.

"Love," Jimin murmured. "That's what I felt back then."

Then why was I not able to tell her I love her? Jimin thought to himself. It's so easy to tell his fans he loves them and even his members but Miyoung... he doesn't know why he struggled so much to tell her that.

Jimin's phone started vibrating and this made him remove his eyes from the two below him. He glanced down and saw that it was Haeun. Jimin sighed before ignoring it.

Haeun is everything Miyoung isn't... but Miyoung is everything Haeun will never be.

"The first one who made me smile," Jimin murmured as he looked at Haeun's name on his screen again. It was there and then that Jimin realised what a fool he's been. For someone like him... with everything, there was one thing he was afraid of and that was being left.

I was so afraid of everyone leaving and turning their backs on me that I ended up doing just that, Jimin thought to himself. I walked away. Like a coward. 

Just like how he was afraid when thinking about life without his fans... even life without his members. He's always been worried when the members met someone else – that it will just be him alone in the end. Jimin didn't want anything to change – he wanted everything to stay as it is but he couldn't deny the fact that seeing Hoseok, Yoongi and Seokjin so in love makes him so happy as well.

And seeing Namjoon and Jihye like this, Jimin thought to himself, shaking his head. He never wants to see any of the members sad. They've been alone and only had one another during all these years... at least with the girls here, the members will be able to lean on someone else. Just like how he leaned on Miyoung.

Jimin still feel something towards Miyoung. Maybe that's why he's been trying to fight this – because he feels guilty for looking at other women even though he knows they will never make him feel the way Miyoung did.

Jimin let out a smirk, shaking his head. Because I knew it when we were making love. That I wanted a baby with Miyoung.

And even though it took him by surprise and he was angry with everything... he couldn't help but feel a little relieved that it was Miyoung who was carrying his baby. If Jimin was honest with himself, he once imagined what it would be like to have a baby with her... though he pushed that idea out of his head at the time because they've only been dating for 2 months.

Jimin looked over his past actions and realised just how much of an idiot he was... hurting and pushing Miyoung away like this. She was a keeper... and someone who Jimin wants to be with. Jimin knows he will always be afraid of being left and being alone – that's just who he is.

"I only matter because I'm Jimin from BTS," he murmured, turning his head to look over at Jungkook and Miyoung again. The pair was laughing at something and this made Jimin smiled again.

She might be my forever, Jimin thought to himself, not seeing the love that's in his eyes whenever he looks at Miyoung. Those eyes that only softens when he looks at Miyoung – full of love and fondness.

Jimin ran a hand through his hair as his phone continued to vibrate.

"It might be time to talk to you again, Haeun," he murmured, already feeling a headache coming his way.

~Miyoung~

"You like his voice, don't you?" I murmured, rubbing my stomach. I was listening to the new BTS album in the room. Every time Jimin sings, I'd feel a little kick.

"What did you say?"

I looked up and saw Jimin leaning against the door. I tilted my head to the side to look at him. Jimin's been quite strange lately. It's almost as if... he was my Jimin from back then. But I know that's just wishful thinking.

"Baby is kicking," I said, putting both my feet down flat on the floor.

Jimin walked over towards the bed, sitting beside me before bringing my feet to his lap. I tried to put it back down but Jimin held onto them firmly.

I cleared my throat, "Want to feel it?"

Jimin's eyes sparkled and he nodded. I put his hands on my stomach before playing Jimin's part in the song and just like predicted, our baby started kicking.

"That's amazing," Jimin said, in awe as he leaned down towards my stomach. "Our baby is kicking."

He let out a breathy chuckle and then stopped before glancing up at me, worriedly. "Does it hurt?"

I shrugged. "Only sometimes."

Jimin stroked my stomach, making me hold my breath from the contact. With his other hand, he scowled. "Don't go hurting your mummy, got it?"

My heart fluttered at that.

Jimin glanced up at me through his lashes before a slow smirk appeared on his lips. "What?"

I swallowed the lump forming in my throat, "Nothing."

Jimin stared at me for a beat before saying, "I'm planning to speak with Haeun."

I stared back, "In person?"

Jimin hesitated, "Not sure yet. She's been calling."

I arched an eyebrow, "At least try and hide it from the media."

"Hey," Jimin muttered. I looked back at him. He shook his head, "Haeun is... my type."

I felt my chest tightening at that.

"But just because she's my type, doesn't mean she's what I need," Jimin muttered, rolling his eyes. "Maybe I considered a future with her a few seconds back in the past but that's something I'm glad I didn't act on."

I frowned, "What does that mean?" I paused and then narrowed my eyes, "You also did acted on it." 

Jimin stood up, "It's okay if you don't understand." He looked down at his watch and then said, "I'm supposed to meet Hoseok to go over a few things. If you need anything, call." With that, he left the room quickly, leaving me sitting there just confused.