Oh I Do Like Guys, Just Not You (L.S)

Chapter 18

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This is it, Harry thinks. This is the final straw, the breakdown that he will not recover from. The numbness is completely gone, and no matter how draining and horrible that was, this is so much worse.

Louis doesn't like him, and Harry fucked it up, just as things were starting to look brighter between them.

He cries when he gets home from Louis' house, almost running as he heads straight for his room, ignoring Liam almost knocking his bowl of cereal over, trying to grab Harry's arm, tears already running down the younger boy's cheeks.

With a desperate force, Harry manages to get to his room before he collapses with his back against the door. Right now, Harry longs for the agonizing numbness, at least then his chest didn't physically hurt, his heart feeling like it's trying to claw its way out of his chest.

He wouldn't mind, if it did. It's not like Harry needs it for anything.

Nor his brain - he clearly hasn't used that either, considering he once again told Louis about his feelings just to be shot down - this time way harder than when Louis said they just have fun.

The look of sheer horror and shock on Louis' face is etched into Harry's mind, as his breath hitches, full on sobs threating to spill from his quivering lips.

He bites into his knuckles harshly, trying to stop himself from crying too loud, as his other arm wraps around his bent legs, practically hugging himself, as there's no one else to do so.

There's a knock at the door, Liam's voice barely audible. "Haz? Are you okay?". Harry doesn't trust his voice enough to answer, so he just keeps quiet, hoping Liam will leave him alone, so he doesn't see Harry like this.

After about a minute of silence, Liam continues. "Shit, I'm sorry. That's a stupid question. Course you're not".

In the silence that follows, Harry can hear his brother sliding down the door and the little thump when Liam bumps against the ground. He doesn't say anything else, not even when Harry can't hold back the sobs anymore. He doesn't leave either.

Hours could have gone by, the state surrounding Harry too floaty to give him any idea of time passing. He just rocks slowly back and forth, both arms wrapped around his knees now, sobs turned into quiet tears.

After a bit of complete quiet, not even Harry's breaths audible, he hears shifting outside the door and a muffled groan when Liam gets off the ground, followed by retreating steps.

He left. Good, people should leave him. He's a shit friend and a shit brother and apparently a shit fuckbuddy as well.

Even though Harry doesn't want anyone seeing him like this, the silent comfort from having Liam close meant more than he would like to admit, and Liam leaving tugs at his heart, just as he thought he might be done crying.

Harry doesn't realize he's been holding his breath, listening for Liam, before the other boy walks into his room through their shared bathroom. Harry takes one look at Liam's concerned eyes, and then he bursts into another round of uncontrollable sobbing.

He can feel Liam dragging him to his feet, almost carrying him to the bed, before he gently places the younger boy in his arms, Liam's back resting against the headboard.

"I'm sorry. I just couldn't listen to you crying anymore. Tell me if you'd rather be alone". Despite Liam's words, he hugs Harry even closer, as the boy falls apart in his arms. He doesn't answer, just pushes himself into the hug, realizing that maybe he doesn't want to be alone, despite how much he hates anyone seeing him cry.