Oh I Do Like Guys, Just Not You (L.S)

Chapter 19

Harry is fucking miserable, there's no other way to put it.

He feels like he's hungover when he wakes up after the party, despite not having a single drop of alcohol. In addition to that, he can't really place the feelings reveling inside him - it's a combination of the fact that he half expected Louis to grow tired of him from the start, sadness, a bit of desperation and the all-consuming feeling of not being enough.

He is still head over heels for Louis, while the other boy spent less than a week moving on.

Bless Zayn though, for calling Louis out on it, something Harry would never have the guts to do - not even when his pretend-confidence was at its highest.

When Harry stumbled home yesterday he was angry, then he was crying uncontrollably, limbs trembling with the overload of heavy emotions, and then he was overwhelmingly tired.

Now he feels blank. Well, blank on the surface while emotions are swiveling underneath. Kind of like a calm looking ocean with an undercurrent that can pull you under and drown you in seconds. Like standing on the edge of a roof, still before the fall.

And Harry doesn't like to feel that way.

Sure, he's been bad before - like after Nick dumped him and he meticulously built his walls of pretend-confidence until it became believable.

And he's been good before too. Sometimes with Zayn and Niall, doing stupid things and laughing their asses of. Sometimes with his family, him and Liam keeping each other company when none of their parents were home. And more often lately, Louis.

Harry knows they should sit down and talk through everything calmly - Louis has even told him, that he sometimes says things he regrets or doesn't mean, but Harry can't bear the fear of another rejection, so he doesn't contact Louis, as he lays in bed, staring at the ceiling with empty eyes.

It's almost one in the afternoon when Liam walks into his room unannounced - not even knocking - immediately scolding Harry for leaving without him. "I was worried sick, and then Zayn told me you disappeared. I ran home just to find you curled up comfortably in a ball of blankets. That is not okay, Haz. I was terrified."

Despite the harsh tone, Liam heads straight for Harry in the bed, almost jumping on top of him in the middle of his lecture, ending it with a hug whilst telling Harry to never do that again.

Harry kind of wants to tell Liam why he left. Tell him about the whole Louis-thing. But he doesn't want to create trouble in their friendship, so he just apologizes quietly, his voice hoarse from crying, but he shrugs it off as just his regular morning voice.

Liam seems content with that, unwrapping his arms around Harry, before he insists that the younger boy comes downstairs and watches movies with him. When Harry refuses, Liam just starts dragging him out of bed, way too chipper as he sing-songs. "Come on, Haz. You can be depressed on the couch."

And of course, Liam wouldn't know about the whole Louis-dancing-too-close-with-a-tall-version-of-Niall-thing from yesterday, so he probably thinks Harry feels better than a week ago.

But Liam's right, Harry can be depressed on the couch instead, so he reluctantly lets Liam drag him downstairs and plop him on the couch. Soon, a random rom com is playing, and Harry is laying on the couch that has too much room when there aren't five of them pressed together.

He kind of misses having the other boys there - not just Louis, but Niall too. And Zayn - and the absolutely endearing yet horrifying attempts at flirting from Liam, this leads to.

At least Liam is here, a hand loosely draped on Harry's shoulder as his eyes are trained on the TV.

A while passes like this, until Harry's phone buzzes with several messages, the noise from the notification dragging Harry from his almost-slumber, but he refuses to check them, instead pretending to be asleep, hoping he will actually drift off eventually.

Then there is silence for a while again, the first movie ending and a second one starting, as Harry kind of snoozes of - not completely asleep, but close enough. He vaguely registers Liam getting up - probably going to the bathroom or the kitchen or something, but then he is brutally jostled awake by their doorbell screeching.

Within twenty seconds, footsteps rush from the kitchen to the front door, and Harry can hear it opening, kind of just wanting to sleep again, until Liam's greeting reaches him.

"Louis?". The greeting is causal, but a bit surprised, probably from Louis showing up unannounced the day after a party - you'd usually not see Louis before dinner, if he had enough to drink the night before.

There's a beat of silence, before a less confident voice speaks up. "Um hi, I was... I was wondering if maybe Harry was here. I umm... need to talk to him about... school". Even Harry could lie better than that - and that says a lot - but Liam doesn't seem to take notice of the shrill, unconvincing tone, just calmly answers.

"Oh, so you're not here to apologize for being a dick, so you guys can go back to dating?"

"Well, yes that too. I mean he-. WAIT WHAT?" Louis' voice jumps up at least two octaves at the last two words, and Harry is glad no one is looking at him right now, as he is in no way able to hide his surprise, as Liam continues calmly.

"You heard me".

"You knew?" Louis' voice is high-pitched and surprised, sounding like he is on the edge of panicking while not completely comprehending what is going on. Liam seems oddly at peace with the entire situation, clearly the one steering the conversation wherever he wants it to go.

"Of course, I fucking knew! You aren't exactly discrete: Harry is practically in your lap every time we watch movies, I have woken up alone for several months any time you sleep over - don't think you're sleek sneaking back. And if that weren't enough to connect the dots, Niall literally looks like a child on Christmas, every time he looks at the two of you. I don't know how oblivious you think I am, but no one is that stupid."

Another beat of silence. Harry can't blame Louis really, as he himself is at a loss for words.
"You didn't say anything." This time it's a little less high-pitched, but Louis definitely doesn't sound like he is comprehending this information too well.

"No, I didn't. Because I figured you would tell me eventually. And I didn't want to complicate things between the two of you, considering you seemed genuinely happy, and so did he." Liam doesn't sound pressed about none of them telling him anything about their relationship, just states it as plainly as one would chat about the weather.

If Harry could see the two boys, he would notice Louis' gaping mouth, completely baffled by Liam's words. But Harry himself can't even hide his own expression, complete confusion. Liam apparently knew a bit more than he was letting on.

A long silence follows, Harry actually unsure whether Louis left or not, when a timid voice speaks up. "I know I probably owe you an explanation too, but could I maybe talk to Hazza first? I panicked, and I fucked up, and I need to talk to him."

Not even a second passes before Liam's voice talks, for the first time showing any other emotion than complete calmness. "No, what you need to do is come back when he's not sleeping or feeling like shit because of you grinding on some douche in front of him. Scratch that, you're the douche. And you need to figure your shit out before you return. You might be my best friend, but he is my brother, and you will NOT hurt him again. Understood?"

Harry doesn't hear the answer, quite possible because his pounding heart is drowning out all other sounds, but he does hear the door slamming only seconds later, as he hastily closes his eyes, trying to force his body to seem calm, despite the many thoughts that he hasn't quite comprehended yet.

Liam knows. And it seems like he knew for a while. How much does he know? He apparently knew that Louis had danced with some douche yesterday. Did Louis tell him? Nah, he sounded rather blindsided by this information too. Jesus, so many questions.

He can feel the couch dipping next to him, Liam restarting the movie, as he pulls the blanket a bit tighter around the younger boy.

A hand tangles itself in Harry's hair, fingers slowly nuzzling his curls and the room is silent for a minute, except for the movie playing in the background. Then the fingers in his hair still for a moment, instantly replaced with soft words from Liam. "You'll be okay, Haz."

And yeah, physically Harry is fine, but emotionally...

A/N I GOT A DATE NEXT FRIDAY!!