A Heart That Beats True

January (Part 1)

DISCLAIMER: This is a solely fictional story, nothing that I write is real except for some events and dates related to the characters. Please, be aware that I do not know Hanker personally, nor do I know anything about their private lives. I only admire and respect them individually and together. This is a fictional take on their relationship 🤍✨

"Okay, what is going on?"

It's usually Hande who worries, she's the one that thinks about the consequences and about what they're doing and how they're doing it. Now, Kerem knows that their situation is not ideal, he's never been involved with a co-worker before, so he's as new at this as Hande is.

Some days though, some days are worse than others. There's rumors about them in the press, rumors about them and other people too. The ratings for the show haven't gotten better despite all the efforts of the producers and them, so he's been giving it a lot of thought, how much they're trying to hide and how exhausted they both are.

There's a lot of tension regarding that, and though they had a conversation about it last night, Kerem seems to be stuck on it still. Something is bothering him and he isn't even sure of what it is exactly. But it's clear now that Hande has noticed it even though she's been awake for barely a few minutes.

He looks back at his girlfriend, her messy hair falling from her top bun as she moves back to bed, wearing only one of his t-shirts. But he's more focused on the small frown that's on her eyebrows.

"Huh?"

"You are awfully quiet." She explains as she sits on his lap, straddling him as he remains propped against all the pillows she has in her bed. "You're never quiet, so you have something in your mind."

Kerem shakes his head, not really wanting to discuss it all over again. It's not like Kerem wants to confirm their relationship publicly right away or anything, but he just wants more freedom. He wants to feel like they can breathe outside of the set or their houses.

Is it completely unfair?

"Kerem, are you okay, baby?" She asks again, this time she leans over and almost lays down completely on him, her fingers caressing his scruff carefully as ever.

"Yeah, yeah. Come on, we have to go to work." He mumbled, his hands moving to her waist as Hande frowns once again, refusing to move from her spot. "Hande, we're going to be late."

It takes her one second to realize that she's absolutely right. Unlike her, when Kerem is annoyed, he can't hide it at all, and right now, she's more than sure that he's annoyed at her. "We don't have set today until nighttime." She reminds him. "I thought that we could do something together, just the two of us."

"Yeah? Like what? It's not like we can't get out of here without you or everyone else freaking out." He lets out. His answer makes her move off of him right away, she doesn't like his tone but she still takes a deep breath and tries to figure out how to approach this.

"Kerem...we have talked about this so many times."

"Yeah, we have. You're right." He shrugs and gets out of bed, moving to get his sweatpants and t-shirt from the floor, slipping them on carelessly as Hande just watches from her spot on the bed. Not entirely sure of what's going on.

"You think this is easy for me?"

"It feels like it sometimes. Sometimes it seems you're perfectly okay with all this shit." He blurts out before he can even stop himself. He regrets it as soon as he sees her eyes flash with something that is quickly replaced by annoyance. To her credit though, Hande doesn't attack him back.

"I am not arguing about this again." She moves off the bed that they just shared, that they share almost every night now and doesn't even look back at her boyfriend. "If this is so hard for you, don't put the blame on me. Just do what you have to do." Before Kerem can say anything else though, she disappears into her bathroom, locking the door as soon as she's in it, making it clear that she's not in the mood to talk.