Love Letters on Bathroom Walls

8.8

It was hard to cope someone who was alive, I guess in a way I understood what my mother felt knowing she had to cope losing me before it happened so she can survive. It was hard to cope ocean and it was hard to think about her because it felt like she was a fragment of my imagination. Like I never knew her at all even if I knew everything about her. I know her favorite things and the way she sounded but although I knew her voice I could never really connect it to the face. Also the fact that I haven't been in school didn't help. My parents finally comprehend my point of view about college and have let me stay home knowing I had a achy heart even if they knew nothing about why it ached. I know my friends tried to help, they tried to search for someone who sounded the way I described her but they couldn't. I didn't blame them because I knew her in a way and I didn't even know who she was. Maybe that's all she was, she was a fragment of my imagination trying to cope with death and hurt. At least that's what I'll tell myself so I don't go crazy. Because at the end of the day time both life and time are constant but when it gets crammed into a short period of time it becomes inconstant. And no number or fragments or running away keeps you alive.
I snapped out of my thinking when Bailey entered my room loudly. "Let's get you out of here for a while" he said tossing me a hoodie and walking out of the room. The air was cold and the streets had Christmas lights all around reminding me of the start of December. We reached a empty beach and the waves were crashing loudly. "What are we doing here?" I asked but he didn't say anything, he got off the truck and walked towards the sand. I followed and flinched lightly due to the fact that his yell startled me. "I hate how my best friend is going to die!" He yelled in so much anger and I realized that my parents and I weren't the only ones coping. He was too. "I fucking hate how you're gonna take her away!" He yelled at nothing in particular. Just the world. "I fucking hate how I'm going to die!" I yelled and he looked at me with tears in his eyes, he fell to the sand and looked up to the stars. I laid next to him and he looked at me, "you're going to have your amazing love story" he mumbled.