Not good

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I remember the day everything turned to shit.

The day my life was ruined.

And the day my trust for everyone was gone.

Sometimes, the more chances you give, the more respect you lose. Your standards begin to be ignored when you let people get comfortable in knowing that another chance will always exist. They start to depend on your forgiveness. That's why I am no longer a slave to apologies. Treat me right the first time, because I can't guarantee you the next time. It's impossible to keep me once you've lost my trust. I am not saying you have to be afraid to lose me, what I am saying is...I am not afraid to walk away.

Trust is not who you think someone is, its who you observe them be in different scenarios over and over again consistently. When TRUST is betrayed. It is our assumption or perception of who that person is, that is inaccurate. The other person is always being true to their nature, whether we are aware of their true nature or not.

Trust is like an eraser, the more mistakes the smaller it gets.

I had trust in someone, and they completely ruined it. I gave them to me. I gave them my soul and they just threw it away like it was nothing. There are lessons to learn from every person that crosses paths with you. And to be honest, I'd rather have the lesson be that I was too stubborn and immature than it is that he fooled and used me.

For the longest, I blamed myself. I had lost the best thing that has ever happened to me because I was too scared. Or that's what I thought.

I always do and I always have held a grudge to myself. Not because of what happened but because I let myself the thing that shit. I always believed it was my fault. How he used me and treated me like a dog that was his property. How I actually held myself accountable for everything that happened that night. Yes, I was doing a stupid, stupid thing. But I was young, and he was not. He knew better. But so did I.

My mind was blank and I couldn't feel or hear anything except my heart pounding in my chest. Every time there was a thud, I would shutter out a cry for help, but nothing came out. I couldn't see anything. Probably because it was dark. Once I realized that, I started to panic, but I didn't move. I couldn't move. So many thoughts started consuming my head and I thought I was going to pass out again. That was until one memory caught back up with me.

Sana was there.

Her voice, I remembered was there. Right before I passed out. The thought of Sana possibly being there made me feel a little better, but what if Nayeon overpowered her. Unlikely. I mean Sana is built. She has sexy muscles that are viewable without even flexing but she still contained the measurements and figure of a woman. A goddess if that.

My eyes started to slowly open, thankfully the lights were off. I looked up and around me still lying down. I couldn't exactly pinpoint where I was but I had the sudden feeling of safeness. Like my surroundings were just spreading an aura of calmness. There was a smell that had a familiar scent but I couldn't pinpoint it. My thoughts were still in a haze. Then I heard yelling. It took me a while but I finally got to the point where I could at least comprehend what they were saying.

"She better be. If I ever find a trace of her then not only is she but also you are done, do you understand me?" There was a slight pause. "Ok then, I'll talk to you later. I have to go make sure she's okay."

The person upstairs hung up and I finally let my headrest on the soft pillows that were under me. I couldn't know who took me but they gave me a bed and some pillows so must be nice enough. Then it hit me. Their coming to check on me.

I heard heels clanking against the floor. As every step became clearer my nerves settled and I started to chuckle. "Will you ever wear anything other than heels?" I didn't need an answer because I already knew.

"Wearing heels makes me feel powerful," I turned my head and looked into those big lustful brown eyes. She was about five inches taller than me right now. She looked so perfect, standing there looking at my lifeless body that more a likely looked like crap.

"It's also a huge turn on." I could tell she was fighting with herself not to laugh. I closed my eyes and closed them again.

"I swear if you weren't in this condition I would spank the shit out of you,"

I chuckled.

"So what I'm hearing is I can say whatever I want right now?"

"Don't push it." I slightly giggled. I find her stubbornness pretty funny.

"So, how you feelin?" I studied her face. For the first time ever she actually looked concerned, I never thought that Sana would ever show actual emotion. That's something I never saw coming. She sat down on the bed next to me and started rubbing my leg.

"Tired, weird, afraid." I said that last part to myself. I (in some way) trust Sana with things it's just opening up and trusting people isn't my thing. I did it before and I made a promise to someone special and I honor to keep that promise.

"Tzuyu, it's okay to be afraid-} I shook my head and held up my hand stopping her from talking.

"No it's not. And I'm sorry by the way," she furrowed her eyebrows looking at me questionably.

"What do you mean? You have nothing to be sorry about,"

"I counted on you for something and expected much out of you. Well now that I think about it I should be apologizing to myself," Sana closed her eyes and shook her head.

"Well you should expect much out of me,"

"Sana, I need to come to terms that you will not always be there,"

"Well I will. I am your Dominant, that's what I'm supposed to do. I couldn't this time cause I wasn't cautious. Now I know what to expect so I am never letting you out of my site. Tzuyu, I am here, and I am not going anywhere."

I actually took a full thirty seconds to just admire her. I have never heard someone say something to me that actually made my heart flutter a bit. Her green eyes were just staring into mine and neither of us could look away. She started leaning into me and planted a soft passionate kiss on my lips.

She lifted up to the point where we could made eye contact but her breath was still on my lips. We stared at each other like nothing was around us and it was just us. In that moment I realized something. And looking future tenses. It's not good.

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