Izuku: ohmygod
Dig: he's doing it again
Izuku: ERASERHEAD???
Aizawa: Nedzu, who's this?
Rat God: a human child that was spontaneously and suspiciously added to this chat. We're having a conversation with him
~Alternatively~
Izuku is "accidentally" a...
Quick A/N for y'all- native is in fact dead (this has zero relation to the storyline) and is instead because we DO. NOT. STAN. CULTURAL. APPROPRIATION.
Midoriya Izuku Protection Squad
Aizawa- Eraserhead Nedzu- Nedzu Hound Dog- hound dog Thirteen- Thirteen Yamada- PresentMic Midnight- Midnight LISTENER- Mei
Midnight: Nedzu how are we doing on lawyers?
Nedzu: I've fired our usual team in favour of ones who specialize in child endangerment and quirk discrimination
Midnight: inko?
Nedzu: shes heading this up, yes
Aizawa is online
Aizawa: when's the trial?
Nedzu: soon, but a victory is unlikely Nedzu: the hero commission's board is near impenetrable, and they're representing Hawks
Midnight: tell me who I need to assassinate and by when
Aizawa: nem, we aren't killing anyone yet, okay?
LISTENER is online
LISTENER: uh huh
Aizawa: no
LISTENER: how about a lil torture?
Aizawa: ..
LISTENER: just a bit! I need a test subject for my new taser
Midnight: I'm game
Nedzu: this is an interesting offer
Hound Dog is online
Hound Dog: we aren't torturing or killing anyone Hound Dog: we're going to destroy Hawks's public image through both legal methods and the media Hound Dog: remember, Hatsume hacked into his and Midoriya- kun's conversation, she has the screenshots that we can release. It worked before Hound Dog: see?
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Midnight: god I can't wait to just Midnight: (✿ ◕‿◕) ᓄ✂╰U╯
Aizawa: nemuri, no
LISTENER: MAMA, YES
Midnight: my daughter agrees Midnight: too late shou, I'm fucking doing it
Nedzu: you can't hug Midoriya- kun if you're in prison, Kayama
Midnight: ..damn
Thirteen is online
Thirteen: hey guys- a little help? Thirteen: we're going over the trial evidence and Midoriya san looks like she's plotting a murder which she actually might be Thirteen: I think I need someone to help deescalate
Midnight: I'm on it
Midnight is offline
Nedzu: why are you in the lawyer meeting?
Thirteen: idk, it was yamada's idea
Yamada is online
Yamada: I wanna help, yo!
Nedzu: and how, exactly, are you going to help?
Yamada: positive support and good tunes!
Aizawa: you're playing music Aizawa: for the lawyers Aizawa: while they're trying to plan a lawsuit?
Thirteen: no, he's singing
Hound Dog: god help us all
Nedzu: I wish I could but I'm busy
Aizawa: I hate it here
User23179 has made a new chat User23179 has added Rat God to the chat
User23179: hey Nedzu- san, can you open the gate? I lost my wings a while back and I'm kinda too tired to scale it
Rat God is online
Rat God: who is this?
User23179: Midoriya Izuku
Rat God: Midoriya kun?? Rat God: but you were abducted?
User23179: I mean like yeah User23179: but their security sucked
Rat God: you escaped??
User23179: it wasn't very hard User23179: they forgot to frisk me for hidden weapons User23179: amateurs.
Rat God: were you followed?
User23179: i don't think so User23179: no one saw me leave
Rat God: that is relatively suspicious, wouldn't you agree?
User23179: sure, a bit I guess
Rat God: how did you escape?
User23179: they strapped me to a gurney with some leather, so I just sawed through it with my ring
Rat God: your ring?
User23179: yeah, Mei gave it to me User23179: it's basically a knife sorta
Rat God: then what happened?
User23179: Nedzu- san I don't mean to be rude but I'm kinda injured and I really don't think I'll be able to keep standing for much longer User23179: can we have this conversation later?
Rat God: of course, Midoriya- kun Rat God: I will see you in a moment
