Mcyt Oneshots

"Diary"

Not requested by anyone-though the idea is some what taken by ZoneMoth check them out, they are so very poggers.
I did ask for permission to use the idea for those wondering, and they were ok with it!
Thanks for the general plot idea! ♡
General warnings:

•NO SHIPS FULLY PLATONIC
•USE OF RANBOO, TUBBO, MICHAEL-PLATONIC living together. (Canonical ig, though used/set on the dream smp fully)
•Some what set on the dream smp??idek
•sleepy bois inc family dynamic (phil, techno, wilbur, tommy)
•mentions of suicide/death (example: "maybe i should just leave,forever")
•mentions of self harm
•written in diary form-with 3 days worth of information, then extra stuff at the end. :]
•depressive thoughts
•insomnia/lack of sleep
•voices
•mentions of sleep paralysis (potential inaccurate information-just going off by what ive dealt with when going through it).
•angst w/ fluff at the end
•if theres any more potential warnings, please let me know. :)
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Monday

It's currently the end of the day (that specific day, being Monday). It was..actually a reasonably good day today, nothing necessarily bad -aside from the usual voices- happened. As normal, i didn't sleep, which means i was awake all night, attempting to make no noise what so ever, and as normal, i succeeded. I'm honestly still surprised that nobody, especially phil, has figured out that i dont normally sleep, aside from the occasional naps i do throughout the day. Considering I'm a grown man, and the supposed sleeping pattern is suppose to be at least 49 hours a week-i am failing whatever im doing.
Phil is normally the first person awake, as he usually has to make food for the lot of us, considering we don't trust Tommy to cook, solemnly due to the constant salt usage. Somehow, tommy wakes up around 2 hours after phil, and wilbur wakes up after an estimated 3 hours. So, I'm assuming they also don't have a great sleeping schedule either (though obviously still better than mine). Due to this, food has to be made either for the time they wake up, or for slightly afterwards.

Anyway, Phil made breakfast for us, and after everyone had awaken, he called us down to eat it. I usually just have the same thing every day, that thing being toast, and Phil normally just makes himself some porridge, on which wilbur occasionally also has. Though, both Wilbur and tommy commonly have eggs and bacon. I'm still not sure whether i should be offended by that, as I'm part piglin, but i try not to be, so the voices don't take over and tell me to kill him, due to making me annoyed.

On the some what topic of sleeping, i feel like the only way to get something off my chest, is to write it, as i dont want to talk about it to anyone i live with, nor anyone in general. I have talked to phil about my voices a couple of times before, but it wasn't ever completely serious. I feel as though my voices some what remind me of sleep paralysis. I use to have sleep paralysis, and it was just black, deep shadows following me around,making me unable to move fully, for what seems like ages. They always use to seem like they were going to kill me, and because i couldn't move, i wasn't able to do anything about it. It felt like my eyes were completely open (whilst I was in bed, or where i was attempting to sleep), and wide in shock, and they were the only thing i could move, which only revealed more of the shadows, which pained me even more. I felt trapped, as if i couldn't ever get out of it. I was constantly practically trapped in my own mind.
The sleep paralysis did eventually end (due to the fact i never really sleep anymore-and when i do, its only short naps),but i still usually get nightmares, or sudden memories of it, and its definitely not pleasant. I can't help but think that it reminds me of the voices. This is because, once the voices have me, i also feel trapped in space, and they basically are then in complete control of my actions, and my thoughts. I don't know what they look like, but for all i know, they could be the same black shadowy, lanky figures that i use to always see.