Melkor's Mistake

Chapter 9: Helcaraxe

I tried to fall asleep, shivering despite the thick blanket and my warm clothing. Burying my face in my cloak, I felt a little guilty. It was actually Celegorm's cloak, and he was probably very cold without it. Just as I was about to lose consciousness, a hand touched my shoulder. I jerked upwards, reaching for the dagger that was hidden under my pillow and pointing it at my unknown attacker.

"My, you're fast," a familiar voice whispered, the figure jumping backwards. Breathing quickly, I held the dagger down a bit.

"Do you want your cloak back?" I asked. Celegorm smiled in the darkness. "Keep it. It was a gift."

"What are you doing here?"

"Pack your things. We're leaving," he said, holding out his hand to help me up. I looked at it skeptically, feeling that something was off. Ah...

"Why all the secrecy?" I questioned. "Isn't everyone else leaving with us? And why are we going in the night?"

He winced, as if something was hurting him. "Well...no, not everyone is coming. We don't have enough boats, remember?" He let that sink in. I glanced up, biting my lip as I realized what that meant. "So Feanor and his sons and aquaintances are going first ... and then we are going to send them back for Fingolfin, right?"

Celegorm's silence was enough of an answer. I felt the color drain from my cheeks. "Why? What does your father plan to do?" He sighed.

"He wants to burn the ships as soon as he has the opportunity."

I sprang up, ingoring his outstretched hand, and cried, "What? He can't! Such betrayal would not go over well with Fingolfin's followers! Celegorm, you cannot let him!"

He turned away. All I could see was the silhouette of his thin face by the light outside.

"I am sorry, Luinil, but I must respect my father's wishes. And this way, there is no chance of Fingolfin taking the Silmarils for himself once we find them."

I rolled my eyes. "Your entire house is obsessed with those gems. IT scares me sometimes, Celegorm. Try to let them go."

"Let them go? Luinil, do understand what that would mean? The beauty of the Two Trees would be forever lost, or possibly even defiled by Morgoth! Everything that we have lived and worked for would be ruined!"

"Alright. I apologize. I only wanted to ... make things better."

"While the Silmarils are with that monster, nothing will get better. Trust me."

I narrowed my eyes and Celegorm paused. "Do not take offense to that. It is not your fault that he is your father."

"I am aware that it is not my fault, and I am aware that I can do nothing to change the fact that my mother made a grave mistake; however, I may be able to reverse this. What if I made myself so I was Melkor's mistake?"

Celegorm's eyebrows drew together as he cocked his head to the side, obviously not understanding. I moved closer to him, my voice low as I said, "After all, I am part Vala. What if I make Melkor wish I didn't exist?"

"No doubt he already does," replied Celegorm with a sneer.

"But ... If I were to, say, infiltrate his fortress, pretend to be his servant or slave or whatever he wishes, all while finding information for you..."

He shook his head. "It will not work. He will discover you. If by some miracle he does not, no Elf will believe you. They want you gone, Luinil. You told Feanor that you would rejoin your father, did you not? My father will only believe you are helping the Enemy."

"But you would believe me because you know the truth."

"Luinil, I do not know what is truth anymore. I know it to be true that you despise Elves, and yet I also believe you are telling the truth when you say that you are willing to help."