Newfound Family

Memories

TW: Child violence

Nat wasn't paying attention anymore. She was lost in her own thoughts. She and the rest of the team sat at the conference table in the compound. Maria Hill was on the screen, doing a daily update.

We don't have any new information, but we're trying out best.

That's what they said every time, for the past week, and she couldn't handle it anymore. They were getting nowhere.

Nat stood up, silently leaving. Steve got up to go after her, but Clint stopped him.

"I'll go see what's wrong. Stay here in case there's more information."

Steve nodded, not wanting to argue. He knew there would be no more information. There never was. But Clint always knew best, and if Nat needed him right now, he didn't object.

Clint headed up to her room, which was open just a crack. He ended up knocking anyways, getting a rather harsh response from Nat on the other side, who failed to look up.

"Steve, I think I just want to be alone right now."

Clint poked his head in.

"Not, Steve." He gave a sympathetic smile, and she returned it with a frustrated expression.

"Steve, Clint, whatever. Doesn't change the fact that I'd like to think in peace."

Clint took a hazardous step towards her.

"You've been doing a lot of thinking lately, Tasha."

Nat flipped her legs around the side of the bed to face him.

"Well, Clint. If you haven't noticed..."

"Don't, Nat." He sat beside her, pulling her into his side.

"Don't what?"

"Blame this on yourself. This isn't your fault, and deep down I know that you know."

Nat had to fight away the tears.

"You don't understand. I was stupid to think that I could keep her safe. That Steve and I could raise her, that we could be a normal family. That I could be normal. But no matter how hard I try to forget my past in the Red Room, I'll always still just be the weapon they trained me to be. You know, Steve even proposed? I let those few months of happiness make me delusional. I let it distract me from the fact that I can't have a normal life." She squeezed her eyes shut, twisting the ring on her finger.

Clint just gave her shoulders a squeeze and let her continue.

"People put us in danger constantly, and by doing that, I put her life in danger. And the worst part is that we know this has something to do with the Red Room, so actually, it is my fault."

"Nat, you're not stupid for thinking that you want a family. All three of you deserve to be a family. And you will, as soon as we get Wanda back. We still don't know who took her, or why. But I know we'll get her back. This isn't your fault."

She let herself cry for the first time in a while, out of mental exhaustion and fear for her missing daughter. Clint just embraced her, letting her cry out all her tears.

"I've failed, Clint. I've failed her. She's probably so scared or hurt. Or worse." She sobbed into his chest. "And if we do get her, back, we'll have to start all over again. She'll have to learn to trust us all again. If this has anything to do with the Red room, she's going to be so mentally destroyed. They made me kill people at that age, Clint. Murder. Madame B used to make us dance until our feet bled, and handcuff us to our beds so we didn't kill each other or escape at night. She's going to go through all that."