(Not Canon!)
Keith's husband Lance was a whore-ish man.
Keith knew this, but loved him regardless.
Lance didn't, as obvious with his whore-ish patterns.
---- The Night Before the Wedding ----
Pidge: Ahh![running footsteps] It is gorgeous out. Just gorgeous![running footsteps]
Allura: [slurp][running footsteps]
Coran: Kei... TH! ...I... have... Lemme just... [deep breath] [belch]
Keith: Dear Keith, I am sure you are as excited as I am about the upcoming wedding in Canterlot. [to the others] Wedding? [reading] I will be presiding over the ceremony, but would very much like you and your friends to help with the preparations for this wonderful occasion. Hunk, I would like you and your songbird choir to provide the music.
Hunk: Oh my goodness! What an honor!
Keith: Shiro, I can think of no one more qualified than you to host the reception.
Shiro: Hip, hip, hooray!
Keith: Allura, you will be in charge of the catering for the reception.
Allura: Well, color me pleased as punch!
Keith: Rainbow Dash–
Rainbow Dash: [yawn]
Keith: ...I would very much appreciate it if you could perform a sonic rainboom as Lance and I complete our "I do"'s.
Rainbow Dash: Yes!
Keith: Pidge, you will be responsible for designing the dresses for the bride and her bridesmaids.
Pidge: Princess Celestia wants me to– [unintelligible] ...wedding dress? For the wedding... I, ah, ooh, oooh![thump]
Keith: And as for me, Keith, I will be playing the most important role of all: Making sure that everything goes as planned.
Coran: Oh, wait! Uh, I was probably supposed to give you this one first.
Keith: The new wedding invites?!
Allura: You and Lance are getting married? Congratulations, Keith! That's great news!
Adam: Yeah, great news. That I just got from a wedding invitation! Not from my brother, but from a piece of paper! Thanks a lot, Lance. I mean, really, he couldn't tell me personally? [as Lance] Hey, Keith, just thought you should know I'm making a really big decision that changes everything. Oh, never mind, you'll hear about it when you get the invitation. [normal] Princess Mi Amore Cadenza? Who in the hoof is that?! [snort]
Hunk: Um, Keith? Are you okay?
Keith: Sorry, it's just that Lance and I have always been so close. He's my B.W.B.F.F! [beat] Big Whore Best Friend Forever?
Rest of main cast: Ohhh!
Keith: Before I came here and learned the importance of friendship, Lance was the only pony I ever really accepted as a friend.When I was just a filly, I found it rather sillyTo see how many other ponies I could meetI had my books to read, didn't know that I would ever needOther ponies to make my life completeBut there was one colt that I cared forI knew he would be there for me!Like two peas in a pod, we did everything together. He taught me how to fly a kite (Best friend forever!)We never had a single fight (We did everything together!)We shared our hopes, we shared our dreamsI miss him more than I realizedIt seems...
[Allura, Hunk, Shiro, Rainbow Dash, and Pidge]Your fiancé, best friend forever, Like two peas in a pod, you did everything together
Allura: As one of your P.F.F.'s... [beat] Pony Friends Forever...
Rest of main cast: Ohhh!
Allura: ...I wanna tell you that I think your fiancé sounds like a real good guy.
Keith: He is pretty special. I mean, they don't let just anypony be a paladin of Voltron.
Pidge: [chirp] So let me get this straight. We're helping out with the wedding of not only a princess, but a fellow paladin?
Keith: I guess we are.
Pidge: Ooh, ooh, oooh![thump]Rest of main cast: [excited chattering]
Rainbow Dash: A sonic rainboom? At a wedding?! Can you say "best wedding ever"?!
Shiro: [gasp] [echoing] Best wedding ever!
Coran: So you all get to help with the big fancy wedding, but I'm the one who gets to host the bachelor party! I have just one question. What's a bachelor party?
Rainbow Dash, Pidge, Shiro, Allura, and Hunk: [laughter]
Allura: Why the long face, sugarcube?
Keith: I'm just thinking about Lance. Ever since I moved to Ponyville, we've been seeing each other less and less. And now that he's starting his new Youtube vlog career, we'll probably never see each other.
Allura: Come on, now. You're his soon-to-be-husband. He'll always make time for you.
Keith: Couldn't seem to make time to tell me he was making new wedding invites.
Shiro: We're here, we're here!
Rainbow Dash: Whoa, what's with all the guards?
Pidge: I'm sure they're just taking the necessary precautions. Paladin weddings do bring out the strangest ponies.
Shiro: Aaaaaaaaa– [sneezes like a trumpet]
Pidge: Now, let's get going! We've got work to do!
Keith: Yeah. Congratulate. And then give him a piece of my mind.
- Lance shows up -
Keith: I've got something to say to you, mister.
Lance: Mullet! Ah, I've missed, you, hon. How was the train ride? I–
Keith: How dare you be late to our own wedding rehearsal?!
--
**small inspiration from that one My Little Pony wedding episode and Shameless
YOU ARE READING
A Cold Day in Texas
RomanceKeith and Lance have always been at each others throats: arguing, fighting, despising- and all for what? What will happen when they finally realize their mutual feelings for each other?
