• ELEVEN •

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2018

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2018

Oh my God. I'm in love with Nat. I'm in love with Nat. I'm in love with Nat.

Cassandra shivered, a habit of her anxiety. Natasha looked at her, tilting her head in concern.

"Are you ok?" Natasha asked.
"Yeah," Cassandra cleared her throat. "Yeah, I'm fine."
"Cass don't lie to me. Are you ok?"
"What would lead you to believe that I'm not ok?" Cassandra asked, folding her hands in her lap.
"You're pale, you just did that anxiety shiver you love to do when you're not ok, and you still seem shaken from last night," she said quickly, sounding like she might cry.

Cassandra pursed her lips, thinking quietly. She stared at the blueberries on her plate that had gotten away from her, a million thoughts racing around her head.

Should I tell her? What if she thinks it's gross. I never tell her anything like this. Well until now I didn't know what 'this' was. Oh my God I'm in love with Nat.

Cassandra curled her knees to her chest in the chair, dropping her head into her knees. Overwhelmed by her own thoughts, by the heavy weight holding her down, the overwhelming emptiness consuming her body, she began to shake and cry. Natasha was quickly by her side, one hand on her shoulder, and the other tightly holding her hand.

"Cassandra, what's wrong?"

Cassandra couldn't answer, her mouth physically would not open, and her voice couldn't string enough syllables together to say "No." Her body felt stuck, her limbs felt like they were made of cement, and her head hurt too much to lift it up to look at her. Her body was shutting down.

"Cassandra. Cassandra come on. Come on, come on," Cassandra heard Natasha, but she couldn't listen, her body wouldn't let her. "Cassandra Barnes snap out of it!"

Cassandra felt a sting on her cheek, and she looked up. Natasha looked at her with her hand still raised, a worried look on her face. Cassandra looked at her slowly with red teary eyes, bringing a hand slowly to her cheek to cool the stinging. Natasha bent down, cupping Cassandra's face in her hand.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.
"Something is very wrong with me," Cassandra said softly, her voice heavy with tears.
"No, no," Natasha said, holding her face with both hands. "No, you've been through a lot, and it was hard. It was so hard," she said, tears forming in her eyes. "You can't blame yourself for what happened to you, and you can't blame yourself for what you did. Ok, hey look at me," she said, making Cassandra meet her eyes. "You're so strong, and it is not your fault. And I love you."

Cassandra stared at Natasha, watching a tear drop down her face. Cassandra put her hands gently on Natasha's cheeks, holding her face and staring at her. She felt her face get closer to Natasha's, and she felt herself gently pulled Natasha towards her. Cassandra felt her lips meet Natasha's, and she kissed her.

She felt her face form a smile as she pulled away, looking at Natasha. She laughed and cried happily at the same time, Natasha grinning at her before they kissed again.

"I love you too."





•••••••••••






Cassandra held on to Natasha's hand, watching the numbers on the screen. More faces turned up, showing people unaccounted for, people they knew were gone. Cassandra let her eyes wander, staring at her knees. Tears filled her eyes, but she didn't let them fall, she didn't need to cry about everything, even though that was probably what was healthier for her, and it wasn't a good to thing to suppress your emotions, she didn't need to ruin what had been a fairly good two hours.

Natasha tapped her on the back, making her turn to look at her. Natasha pointed towards the holotable, and Cassandra looked at it. Her heart stopped when she saw four faces pop up on the screen, one after another.

Laura, Cooper, Lila, and Nate.

She looked back at Natasha, and almost instantly stood up. Thor, who was sitting quietly against the wall, staring angrily at the ground, looked up, and looked back down. Steve ran after them, asking,

"Where are you going?"
"Clint's house," Natasha replied.
"I'm coming with you," Steve said, grabbing a coat from a chair as they passed the kitchen.

They ran to the Quinjet, and Cassandra got into the cockpit. Clicking all the buttons and flipping all the switches, she waited for the doors to open above her. Natasha sat down next to her, and Steve sat down in a seat behind them. The doors opened all the way, and the Quinjet lifted off the ground, leaving the Compound.
























hello i'm back!!
ok so i was listening to betty by taylor swift as i was writing the kiss scene, and as i was actually writing the kiss part, the song got to the part where it's like 'if i showed up at your party will ya have me, will ya love, will you kiss me on the porch, in front of all your stupid friends,' and i still haven't gotten over it.
but anyways, ilysm have a fantastic rest of your day❤

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