Outside

Chapter 6

I know Kyan's heading for his room, so that's where I run to. He may not be strong, but he is fast. Even though I left not long after him, he's nowhere to be seen. When I get to his room, the door is ajar. I open it enough to slip in. His room is exactly the same as mine. I find him curled up, knees to his chest on his bed with a bloody paper towel held up to his nose.

"Rude. You can't just come into people's rooms without permission." His voice cracks.

"I came to check on you. I'm sorry I hurt you, I was just mad, and I got carried away." I sit down on his bed next to him. "I didn't come to fight. I just wanted to say sorry."

"I know you want me to be strong. I know you want me to forget the past and be fine with what happened. But what I don't get is how you're just... what triggered this episode in you?"

"I understand you miss your old life, but there's nothing we can do about that now. If you give this place a chance then-"

"This place isn't meant for me and you know it. I'm not tough. I'm not a thrill seeker. Drew said it himself. I don't fit in here. I value safety over a good time. I'm not like you." He pulls his knees further into his chest and puts the paper towel on a side table near his bed. He managed to wipe away most of the blood on himself, but pain still plagues his face. He buries his face in his knees and sighs. "I'm sorry, Nox. I'm sick and tired of this stupid place. Literally. I wish all this never happened. I'm sorry if you don't agree, but I feel like we would've been ok if neither of us got exiled."

"So you think that you'd just be able to just make friends with the other boys and that you and I could handle being without each other?" I ask, lingering frustration building at the fact that he is so willing to leave me.

"I would hope, yeah."

"Really? I know for sure I wouldn't be ok without you, but you think you'd be fine without me?" My hands clench into fists.

"I'm sorry, but it just..."

"You know what?" I say as I loosen my fingers. "You're wrong."

"Excuse me?" He sits up, his mood shifting with his posture. "I'm not a newborn child. I could do fine on my own. I hate when you make me out to be so dependent on you."

"I know you could survive on your own without me!" I yell at him. "I know you could, but if you think you're better off being friends with those snobby jerks you call possible "friends" then you've lost your mind!"

"I've lost my mind? You're the one who-"

"Stop. Okay? Those boys that you're talking about- the ones you think you would be so close with- they would never be your friend."

"What's that supposed to mean?!" He shouts back.

"What I mean is that those boys have always been complete bullies to you, and I've always been there for you to lean on. You must have no memory at all if you think they had good intentions talking to you." I feel my skin grow warm and I keep myself from bursting into tears.

"Am I really insane for thinking that friendships can exist for me outside of you?!"

"Do you not remember all the times they threw you against a locker and beat you up? The nicknames... the insults... I was always there for you, Kyan. Always. They never were. And you can't say it wasn't everyone. Because when push came to shove and you needed someone to defend you, they all just watched you suffer. Just stood back and watched. Watched you slowly lose your mind and will to live. None of them even batted an eye. But I did. I cared."