𝗥𝗘𝗗𝗔𝗠𝗔𝗡𝗖𝗬 | 𝙅. 𝙆𝙄𝙍𝙎𝙏𝙀𝙄𝙉

𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧

𝐭𝐰 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫: 𝐬𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐭 & 𝐬𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐫!𝐩𝐞

(𝐢 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐩𝐮𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 "✧" 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬, 𝐬𝐨 𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐩 𝐢𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐜 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐮𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐲!!)

"Hey! Y/n, wait up!" I turn around to see Evander running up to me.

Right now I was on my way to see Jean; after freshening up in my room with Mikasa's help, she finally decided that I was well enough to see him, though I still wasn't so sure myself. Hence why I was standing at the end of the hallway- no way was I ready to face Jean right now, not with my red and swollen eyes from crying.

"Hey," I say, turning to Evander with an attempt at what I would call a smile. He frowns at my face, but it honestly doesn't look too believable.

"What's wrong," he says, getting up close to me. Only a few feet separated us now.

I shrug, taking a step back to lean against the wall. "I dunno. I'm going to see Jean but my feet just won't... take me there," I say with a nervous chuckle.

He peers at me, his eyes calculating as they settle on my face. I look away, trying to keep my fucking annoying tears at bay. Fuck these teenage haywire hormones.

"Is something else wrong? Aren't you and Jean buddy-buddy," he says. My eyes twitch at the sneer on his face that appeared as fast as it left. I dismiss it quickly, think I saw it wrong.

I pick at my nails, looking down. "I feel like what happened to him was my fault. Mikasa says it wasn't but..." I heave a sigh. "I don't know, I just can't shake away that feeling."

My hands start to shake again and it feels like my throat's closing up.

"What happened wasn't your fault, Y/n," he says in a soft tone, his hand coming down on my shoulder.

"I-I know," I say. Evander's hand goes under my shin, bridging up my face to face him.

"Let's get out of here, yeah?" I look around to see a few random cadets start to pass by the dorm room hallway. I just nod tiredly.

"Thanks, Evander," I say, with a grateful smile.

"Don't worry about it, Y/n," he says, gripping my hand in his as he leads us towards his and Armin's shared dorm room. I followed him silently as he ushered us both in and closed the door.

I look around the room, smiling at Armin's neat section of the room, but before I could look at Evander's he pulls me to face away from it.

"Don't look! It's way too dirty for a girl like you to see," he says with a laugh, rubbing his neck in the process as he walks behind me to tidy up his side of the room.

"Don't worry, mine's probably way worse."

I take a seat on Armin's bed as Evander gives me the go-to go back to looking around; I run my hands along the soft fabric to the blankets, brushing my fingers over it softly. I pick up one of Armin's books from the library while Evander sits down next to me on the bed. I ignore his preciseness for now as I get intrigued by the book, snuggling back up into Armin's pile of pillows. Hopefully Armin wouldn't care that I was making myself comfortable in his bed.

I thumb through the book, reading through each page, hoping to calm my nerves but I feel Evander's dark, blue-eyed gaze burning holes into my body. Curious about what he wanted I turned to him to see him staring right at me with no shame.