The Attorney ✓( A White House occupants prequel)

Chapter Fifteen

The entire world comes to a standstill. I am not my body- my body does not belong to me. I feel like I'm an observer again, just watching through the eyes of someone else who happens to be successful, because despite my work these past few weeks- I never thought I'd get this far.

And as much as I'd like to blame the way I grew up, I don't think I can use that excuse anymore. I am a grown, twenty five year old man with two degrees who hasn't lived in that house in almost eight years- since they kicked me out. Now, I'm actually something they could be proud of, if I decided to "turn to god" that is. Until such time I'll always be an outsider in my own family, since they're all afraid of them. "Respect thy parents"- or some bullshit like that.

Around me, fellow students and bar certified lawyers are smiling, celebrating for themselves and those they've come to know over the past three years. I wish I could feel the same sense of empathy. Mine is fried, nearly gone at this point. I don't know how to feel happy for someone else I barely know.

So I'm one of the first to leave. It's been almost ten hours since I've seen sunlight, and now it's setting- but the atmosphere feels compelled different. Instead of this morning's nervousness, most people are walking around on cloud nine. There are a few crying, bringing the vibes down- but the rest of us are so happy we barely notice.

I walk over to one of the checkpoints for my cell phone, which they hand back to me in a little plastic bag. Instead of immediately going home and crashing on the couch like I want to, I dial Noelle's number. She usually sits up watching some sitcom around this time, so unless her phone's off- she'll pick up immediately.

It rings just a few times, confirming what I know, and after going so long without speaking to her- her voice is more angelic than ever. "Hey-"

"How'd it go?" She accidentally interrupts.

I smile. At least one of us can be happily-empathetic. I'm working on it, but it's gonna take some time.

"I passed." I tell her. "I guess I'm....a lawyer now."

On the other end, she excitedly squeals. I make a mental note, forcing myself to be happy for her when her exam rolls around.

A flashback of the first time I got an F rolls through my head. It was my freshman year of high school, and I'd just had a really stressful week overall trying to study. The day of the test I was extremely sleep deprived- my head kept involuntarily bobbing back and forth the entire time, and I hadn't eaten anything, so I could barely see the paper. That was the one time in my life I put down random answers just so I could finish faster and take a nap, and as soon as I got home- I cried.

I was grateful for the privacy I got for almost two hours then. All five of the roommates I had found some reason not to be there- whether that was yard work or an extra shift at work. The understood that I hated crying in front of people, but that I also needed to just let it out.

That's the only thing I miss about living at home: having people to talk to that also know when they really need to back off.

I think Noelle is my person for that now, but we haven't known each other very long. I could be wrong. Maybe she's a completely psychopathic self-absorbed bitch most of the time and I just haven't seen it yet- like Sonia the first few years we were dating.

You'll never find out if you don't give it a shot, moron.

"That's amazing-" I can almost hear her smiling. "You wanna go get dinner at The Rare Dome?"

The rare dome is an overly expensive restaurant the rich people in town like. And sure, I could afford it- but my tastebuds usually prefer simpler food. I don't think I'd frequent places like that often if I had all the money in the world, which I'm pretty close to.