We'll Be Okay [Solby]

Chapter 10

"We gotta talk, bro."

"Yeah, we do" Sam nodded, his heart rate picking up. This was it. "Couch?"

"Couch," Colby agreed.

The two moved almost in unison to Sam's couch. Sam sat down first, waiting to see where Colby would sit. Colby paused for a moment, looking conflicted. Then he slowly and deliberately sat next to Sam so that their thighs and shoulders were touching. Sam didn't move as he slid into place, feeling the faint trembling in his friend's body as he initiated the contact. When he was fully seated, Colby paused, grinning faintly to himself.

"Proud of you," Sam whispered, gathering what was probably going on here. Colby flushed, but the grin widened as he turned to Sam, and he felt little butterflies take flight in his stomach. Well fuck, that sure told him something.

Sam had been turning his conversation with Kat over and over in his head. He hadn't at all been expecting her to be so... it wasn't that he didn't think she wouldn't be able to understand his tumultuous thoughts but that he hadn't been expecting...

Sam went into that conversation fully expecting Kat to break up with him. He wouldn't have blamed her. Might have done the exact same in her shoes, had Kat come to him in love with her best friend. Or maybe not, considering his own experience with the matter.

But wait... Was he in love with Colby?

Kat had been right about one thing they talked about last night. He didn't know how much these feelings were influenced by the last few days and how much of them were... him. Just him with feelings he didn't know what to do with.

Colby's grin faltered as he took in Sam's face. "So..." Colby started, breaking through his train of thought. "Sam, we... what the fuck are we doing, man?"

"We're..." Sam didn't know where to even begin with his own thoughts. "I don't know. I've been..." He floundered for words, not wanting to say nothing, betray the earnest look in Colby's eyes. "A lot of really confusing things have been going on in my head, y'know, since we got kidnapped and everything happened. And now we're safe... and I'm still trying to work out what happened." He fidgeted with his hands, watching Colby watch them.

Colby nodded slowly. "I'm.. at about the same place I think," He said quietly. "Obviously I... well... you know I used to like... like you," He stumbled over the words a little bit, his cheeks turning pink. "But uh... I think we both know how that ended and I honestly did get over it." He sat up, pushing his torso back with his hand. "But like... God, I feel like I'm going fucking crazy over here, man. Because you like, told me you weren't gay," Sam cringed, "And then you... you fucking kissed me, bro. And I kissed you back and like..." His face was wide and agitated, a hand running through his hair.

"I just... I'm scared, bro," He finally breathed. "I'm getting all these conflicting things from you and that's not even including all the shit that you had to do to me and the..." He voice choked off and he swallowed hard. "And the fact that I can't even fucking touch anyone right now without freaking out. I just..." He rested his arms on his thighs and looked at Sam. "There's so much other shit going on right now that I can't have you being another thing. I just need to know what the fuck we're doing and what we are so I can either just, get you out of my head or..." He chuckled sardonically, "Fuck, I don't know. Does that even make sense?"

"It does," Sam quickly assured him, his heart racing because fuck that was a lot. "It completely makes sense, because I like..." He took a deep, calming breath, trying not to let something impulsive race out of his mouth. He halfway succeeded. "So I talked to Kat last night."

Colby went rigid. "You told her?" His voice was quiet.

"I told her that we kissed," Sam explained, stomach clenching because fuck was he not supposed to but how could he not... "and that... I wasn't sure how I felt about it. Because of everything that we'd been through, because no one made us... She knew about... some of the other stuff but not that." He wanted to kiss Colby, he really wanted to kiss Colby, and hold him, and soothe that scared little look off his face. But he didn't, because they really needed to talk right now and just just suck each other's faces off.