We'll Be Okay [Solby]

Chapter 18

"... he's generally okay with touch if he sees you coming, but don't like, spring anything on him or he might panic," Sam explained quietly as Brennan nodded stoically.

Colby and Brennen were going to be alone together for the first time since everything had happened. Brennan had been out of town for the past few weeks dealing with family stuff while all of this was going on, and therefore had no idea how to interact with this post-trauma Colby.

But they were going to be alone together today, and while Colby had been really good recently about panicking Sam and Brennan didn't want to chance it happening and Brennan not being prepared.

"What if he does panic?" Brennen asked, his arms crossed in worry, "What then?"

"Don't touch him, touch makes it worse," Sam answered instantly, "You just gotta talk to him. Tell him he's safe, tell him you're with him. He hates having episodes in public, so if you can get him somewhere private before it gets too bad..."

"How the fuck do I do that if I can't touch him?" Brennan's eyes were wide, fear clear on his face.

"Jeez, guys, I'll be fine," Colby walked back into the living room, pulling a hoodie over his body. Brennan's face turned to him, looking slightly sheepish. "Brennan, you don't have to worry about me. We're gonna go to the gym, film some stuff, and eat some food. Everything will be fine."

"Okay, dude..." Brennan cast a concerned look at Sam, who shrugged.

Colby rolled his eyes, "Dammit Sam, you're my boyfriend, not my mother," He grumbled, and Sam winced.

"Sorry dude..."

"It's fine," Colby sighed, "Come on, Brennan." He darted over to Sam, pecking him lightly on the lips. "Love you."

Sam smiled despite himself, "Love you too, babe."

"Gay!" Brennan taunted playfully, and just like that he was back to his normal, playful self. "Let's go, dude!" The door closed behind them, Sam still smiling after them.

Colby would be fine. He knew Brennan was a good guy. He had been out of town while most of this was going down, but has been doing his best since to make it up to them.

And besides, Brennan being out with Colby... left him some alone time to look up some things he didn't want Colby in the house for... Sam flushed, knowing it was stupid to be embarrassed about this. If Sam wanted Colby to stick his fingers up his ass there was no reason for him to be so weird about it.

He and Colby had been moving towards more sexually as of late. They were getting more confident in avoiding triggers, and Sam was taking full advantage of the fact that he could make Colby moan and gasp and cum so hard he saw stars and turn into a limp, cuddly noodle in the aftermath. It seemed that in the days following Sam's break up with Kat, Colby had become more secure in their relationship and more willing to try... things.

But of course, there were things that they weren't even going to touch.

He hadn't even bothered to ask Colby if he wanted to try giving Sam a blowjob. Even if Colby could get over what was likely to be a terrible trigger for him, Sam wasn't sure he could unsee Colby being throatfucked in front of him, unsee the tears, choking, gagging on flesh... he didn't even ask.

He had optimistically thought that maybe he could blow Colby. It hadn't been that awful, really, when he had had to do it last time. And Colby with his legs spread, hard and panting was always a good thing for Sam these days, maybe it would continue to be.

It wasn't.

The workup was fine. Kissing into Colby's mouth like he belonged there, feeling Colby's fingers already sliding to his nipples as he ground down against Colby's groin. So long as he kept it light, as long as he didn't trap Colby's arms, Colby was okay with him on top. Colby seemed more than okay with it right now, groaning into Sam's mouth as Sam's fingernails scraped down his sides.