𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 ☾ 𝐥. 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐠𝐞

6 | A Soulmate Who Wasn't Meant To Be

Violet
—

NOW THAT YOU'RE ALL CAUGHT UP, this brings me to the worst day of my seventeen years and 27 days of life.

The first week and a half have been good. I managed to go to the supermarket with mom, Chris, and Raina, and not roll my eyes about their stupid happy family. I also managed to go through dinners; talking about my life in California, how I like London so far, and "any boys in my life."

Chris isn't that bad. He can be funny at times with the occasional dad joke, and doesn't pester me with questions about life. He's a good cook and a good dad. He makes my mom happy, so I guess I can't be mad at him. I can see that he's trying. He's trying to get to know me, he's trying to get me to like him, he's trying to make me feel a part of the family. Given that I'm only going to be here for two more days, I thought that he would just end up not talking to me, but it's nice that he's noticing me. I just find it strange that he's acting like me staying here is a forever thing.

I think Raina is warming up to me a little more. She's no longer an angry little brat, and I no longer baby her. We have a mutual understanding of each other. I actually kind of see her as my somewhat little sister. Sure, she can act like a demonic creature child from time to time, but she's gotten better with it. I read her to sleep sometimes, and babysit when mom and Chris go to work. She's probably one of the things that I'll miss most. I didn't think that I would actually like it here, but some part of me does. I wouldn't mind coming back sometime.

Mom was a different story. I had a little hesitation towards her the most. I didn't see her for four years and the first thing she said to me was, "Wow you have gotten so much bigger!" It felt like I was visiting an aunt that I don't even know the name of. She didn't feel like my mom.

For the past couple of days, we have gotten better. I managed to talk to her and not blow up and scream at her for never visiting or giving me half-assed calls, I managed not to spill a few tears when she would kiss Raina good night just like how she used to do with me, I managed not to shut down when she would call me by the nickname she had for me when I was eleven— love bug.

Both of my parents called me that until my mom left. Then, my dad just stopped. He stopped everything really; he stopped cooking dinner, he stopped talking to me for a while, he started to forget to pick me up from school. But once I became a teenager, he got better. He's not the best, but he's all I had. I'm all he had.

I marched down the stairs, ready to take the Line 23 bus from Nottinghill to Paddington. It's kind of funny that we're going to Paddington, maybe I'll find "G-man." I need to stop doing this. I need to stop getting my hopes up just for them to be knocked down by a boulder on stilts. He doesn't even live in West London. I have got to stop kidding myself, it's unhealthy.

Mom and Raina were sitting on the couch watching a new episode (or maybe even a rerun) of some kids show that she was massively obsessed with. She can go on, and on, and on about her favorite things— that's when I definitely realized that I'm not a big fan of kids.

I strolled to the kitchen, grabbing an apple from the fruit bowl, and marched to where they were in the living room. The house was warm, but the air conditioner helped it cool down a little. I bit into the red apple, the crunch making it loud enough for mom to realize that I was standing right next to them. Raina sat on her lap, playing with my mom's phone when mom's head lifted up towards me.

"Oh my gosh. You scared me, honey." she held her hand to her chest as if I almost scared her to death.

I don't hate her, she's... cool. She hasn't done anything wrong for me to have reason to be against her, but at the same time she hasn't really done much in general. These past two weeks have just been us hanging out with Raina, trying to catch up on the last four years of my life that she missed, and trying to give me hugs— which is something from her that I'm not yet used to.