Characters: Ranboo, Tommy and Tubbo
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Tubbo, whispering to Tommy, who's on the phone with Ranboo: Ask him something!
Tommy: How are you doing?
Ranboo: Fine
Tubbo: Something personal!
Tommy; At what age did you get your first period?
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Tubbo; Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?
Tommy: You are a hazard to society
Ranboo; And a coward. DO TWENTY
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Tubbo: In my defense, I was left unsupervised
Tommy: wasn't Ranboo with you?
Ranboo: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised
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Tubbo, in a high voice and holding a Barbie: Hey Ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!
Tommy, in a deep voice, holding Ken; Nonsense, Barbie. You are staying home and having my kids.
Ranboo: What the fuck are you doing?
Tubbo: Playing systematic oppression
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Tubbo: I'm kind of crushing on someone, but I'm worried about telling you who it is, because you're not going to like it.
Tommy: Just rip the bandage off
Tubbo: It's Ranboo
Tommy; Put the bandage back on.
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Tubbo; In your opinion, what's the height of stupidity?
Tommy: *turns to Ranboo* How tall are you?
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Tubbo: What happens if I press the brake and gas at the same time?
Tommy: The car takes a Screenshot.
Ranboo: For the last time, get the fuck out.
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Tubbo: If you had to choose between Tommy and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose?
Ranboo: That depends, how much money are we talking about?
Tommy; Ranboo!
Tubbo: 63 cents
Ranboo: I'll take the money.
Tommy; RANBOO!
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Tubbo; I really like this 'good guy, bad guy' thing you guys have going on
Tommy; It's not an act, it's just I'm mean and Ranboo isn't.
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Tubbo: Sometimes I drink milk straight from the container.
Tommy; The cow???
Tubbo: What?
Ranboo: Tommy W H Y?
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Tubbo; I love you guys, you're the best thing that ever happened to me!
Tommy; We are the best thing that ever happened to you?
Tubbo: Yes!
Ranboo; I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you
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Tubbo; Do you ever want to talk about your emotions Tommy?
Tommy; No
Ranboo; I do!
Tubbo; I know, Ranboo.
Ranboo: I'm sad.
Tubbo: I know, Ranboo.
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Tubbo; Please bring home PURIFIED water with NO minerals added for taste.
Tommy: We got spring water
Tubbo: No
Ranboo; With extra minerals
Tommy: It's like licking a stalagmite
Tubbo: Do not come home!
Ranboo: Mmmmmmm cave water
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*the squad is having dinner*
Tubbo; Tommy, can you pass the salt?
Tommy: *throws Ranboo across the table*
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Tubbo; Ranboo and I don't use pet names
Tommy; I see. What do bees make?
Tubbo: Honey?
Ranboo: Yes, dear?
Tubbo: ...
Tommy: Don't every lie to me again.
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Tubbo: What do you think Tommy will do for a distraction?
Ranboo: He'll probably, like, make noise or throw a rock. That's what I would do.
*Building explodes while several car alarms go off*
Ranboo; Or he could do that.
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Tubbo, to Tommy: My life is in the hands of an idiot.
Tommy, motioning to himself and Ranboo: No no no no no, TWO idiots
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Store Worker; Wait a moment. Tubbo would you please come to the front desk?
Tubbo, arriving at front desk: Hello, is there a problem?
Store worker; I believe they belong to you?
Ranboo and Tommy, simultaneously: We got lost :(
Tubbo: I didn't even bring you guys here with me-
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Tubbo: Come on. I wasn't that drunk last night.
Tommy; You were flirting with Ranboo.
Tubbo: So what? He's my partner.
Tommy: You asked if he was single.
Tubbo: ...
Tommy: And you cried when he said he's not.
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Tubbo; Why are you on the floor?
Tommy: I'm depressed
Tommy; I also got stabbed. Please get Ranboo.
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Tubbo; What's a word that's a mix between sad and mad?
Tommy; Disgruntled, miserable, desolated-
Ranboo: Smad
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Tubbo: Tommy and I were crossing a street and this dude drove by and honked at us
Ranboo: *sighs* What did Tommy do?
Tubbo; He chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and...
Tommy: Who wants a steering wheel?
(That's it for now)
YOU ARE READING
Mcyt Short Stories!
FanfictionJust a bunch of Oneshots or Short stories that I come up with at 1am in the morning :) Mostly Sbi centric General warnings: Blood and swearing Newly added: Qsmp!
