The Crown cannot Help You

Chapter 9: That Night

Audelia was admittedly wholly thrown off by what Flynn had said. The fragility in his tone being the main thing that confused her.

But regardless, she was still furious. Audelia threw a scowl across her face and tried to shake his hands off of her. "What does that mean?"

"I am not doing this right now," Flynn declared, trying to push everything he was feeling back down as he released Audelia's hands.

"Yes, you are!" Audelia shouted once again, moving to stand in his way as he tried to turn around. "You owe me that much."

Flynn stared at her deeply debating what he should do, but ultimately, he gave in. "I was hired to kill you both."

Audelia remained unsurprised even though it was news to her. "And yet I am still here?"

Flynn wasn't even looking at Audelia anymore, not properly anyway, he seemed to instead be looking through her.

"I just couldn't—I saw you trapped in the carriage, screaming out in pain. You were such an easy target. And yet, I couldn't do it." Flynn recalled as a gloss fell over his eyes. Audelia's screams from that night were forever ingrained into his head.

Audelia was still struggling to understand what Flynn was truly saying. So, she went to open her mouth and ask for an elaboration, but Flynn didn't want her to.

He didn't know how to explain anything further. He didn't fully understand the events of that night himself, even if he did revisit the memory every night. He had never struggled to take a life before, but Audelia ruined it all.

He'd never failed an assignment or even hesitated to kill before.

Until Audelia.

"So, what now, what are you doing with me now?" Audelia asked, still desperate to understand why he was taking her to his agency, especially considering he was supposed to kill her.

Flynn still had a haunted look upon his face, similar to the one he had during his nightmare. Audelia was tempted to ask once again but something snapped within Flynn and his features returned to the neutral canvas that they normally were.

He finally registered what Audelia had said and was reminded of the reason he'd capture her, reminded that he needed to complete this mission. He couldn't fail again.

He tightly grabbed Audelia and threw her onto the horse, before growling out a blunt response. "I'm correcting my mistake."

Then before Audelia could argue or resist, Flynn had grabbed more rope from the bag that was resting around the horse's neck and was tying it around Audelia.

"What are you doing?" Audelia protested trying her best to stop this from happening.

But to no avail, her ankles were tied together, and her wrists were tied together. Flynn left little bruises and nail marks in Audelia's pale flesh, from how tightly he'd been holding her in place.

Flynn then hung Audelia across the horse and sat behind her. "If you say another word, I'll sew your mouth shut."

Audelia didn't have to look up at him to know his threat was serious, so to pick her battles wisely, she kept quiet.

Flynn yanked at the horse's reins and led them back on track, leaving one of his friends on the floor bleeding and the rest still wandering around looking for him.

They rode continuously for a day or so, Flynn thinking it best to put as much distance between the assassins and himself as possible.

The journey had been the easiest it had ever been as both of them ignored one another, still trying to process everything that had been said.

However, while Flynn never spoke to her nor acknowledge her, he couldn't help but sneak a glance at her every so often.

She was completely tied down and stopped trying to escape after a few hours, but Flynn still couldn't stop himself from looking.

She made him admit something he'd been attempting to work out for the last year, he couldn't understand why Audelia had been different.

He could recall it detail for detail, as remembering the event became a nightly routine. He just wanted to understand why he'd chosen to leave her. He remembered taking the king's life with ease, feeling not even an ounce of remorse and instead maybe a slight bit of pleasure.

And then he turned back to the carriage to complete the job.

He could remember her screams so well that she may as well have been screaming right now. He recalled how the screams weren't for herself but rather cries for her father, she begged for him to get up, to fight back, but she never once begged for her own life.

He remembered how he peered into the upside-down carriage, which was missing its door, and seeing her pinned to the wall with the arrow he'd aimed at the driver. The arrow had done its job and killed the driver, but he'd shot it with enough force that it was driven straight through him and found itself in the princess.

She then looked at him, ceasing all noise immediately. He remembered how taken back he was by her, there wasn't a trace of fear upon her face.

Flynn recalled that particular moment clearly as it was the moment that he froze. He had been killing for so long that at one point it had become automatic, yet one look upon Audelia's face and he choked.

And after having an entire year to think about why he paused, he'd only been able to conclude that it was because something about her flicked that switch inside of his head.

The switch he'd been trained to put in place.

During his training he'd been told to do one of two things, shut out all your emotions or put your mind somewhere else, as it would make him an effective killer.

He chose the first option.

For years, he lived without feeling anything and it had made him a great killer. But the moment he looked upon Audelia's face, all the walls he'd built shattered, and he'd been trying to deal with it ever since.

He recalled how he dropped the knife that was freshly lined with the king's blood and walked away. The guilt of every life he had ever taken haunting him with every step.

He didn't sleep that night nor many nights after that. He just screamed trying to block out the faces of everyone.

But then he forced himself back together, remembering what the consequences of his actions would be.

Whenever an assassin failed to complete their job, a bounty was placed upon their head instead. It was the incentive that maintained the 100% guarantee the agency ensured that your target would be killed.

And Flynn knew that because of who ordered the hit on the Princess, that his bounty would be big, and according to Max he was right to think that.

Since then, he'd been sticking to the shadows trying to avoid being killed by the people who he previously considered his friends. Where the shadows were that he hid in, was an entirely different matter. A matter that he refused to think about for too long.

But now he was tired of it. Tired of hiding and tired of feeling guilty. So, he kidnapped Audelia with the hope it would fix everything once he handed her over. He hoped that it would help him turn that switch off again and he could go back to sleeping at night without nightmares.

He hoped.

"Are we stopping soon?" Audelia grumbled wearily.

He thought about dismissing her and continuing, he didn't owe her anything. But his legs were admittedly tender from riding all day, so instead, he scoured for a place to rest.