Tommy's sister (dreamxreader)

Free of life

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I CRIED WRITING THIS LMFAO
Tw-suicide
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Clay sat beside you, crying heavily, with heavy sobs escaping him.

You was supposed to be dead. Supposed to be free. Free of pain, free of guilt, free of dread.

Free of life.

Maybe you was dead. Maybe you was now a ghost, being forced to see the damage you had caused.

He had the note in his hand.

You didn't know what to say. What do you say when you wrote a note that you was going to die, and tried to do?

Was you in heaven? Hell maybe?

You deserved it for causing so much guilt, hurt, pain, right? Surely, everyone saw you as a meer burden in their lives.

None of them actually wanted you there, right?

Surely they wanted you gone. But, if they did, then why did Clay seem so genuinely upset?

"Clay," you said.

His eyes shot up to yours.

"I thought you were dead," he choked out.

So it didn't work. You were still alive. Still trapped in the seemingly never-ending cycle of living.

You didn't know how to reply. How was you supposed to reply?

Maybe I should just tell him everything?

Here goes nothing.

"Clay I'm sorry," you said after a moment of silence.

"Did you regret it?" He asked. "When you took the pills, did you regret it?" He asked again.

No.

"Clay-"

He sat back, covering his face with his hands.

"Clay when I'm living I feel like I'm trapped. When I took the pills, I finally felt free. Thats all I want," a single tear rolled down your cheek.

"I know it's selfish, but I don't want you to die," his glossy, green eyes stared into your e/c eyes.

"Dying is so much easier than living," you said quietly, shaking your head a little.

"I know it is, but you can't die. Y/n you mean so much to me, I can't loose you," he closed his eyes, trying to hold back any more tears from flowing.

"I'm sorry," you said, only just realising what you almost just did.

You almost just died.

You almost just left your brother, left your best friends.

All because you wanted to be free.

Your mouth hung slightly agape as you registered everything that you would have lost.

Your hand slowly moved upwards, to cover your mouth, as tears rolled down your face.

"I-I didn't realise," you said quietly.

"Oh my god," thoughts of what you almost lost spun round your head, causing dizziness.

"I'm so sorry," you looked at Clay once again.

Only this time, you meant it. You was sorry. Genuinely sorry.

Sorry for everything you would have lost. Everyone you would have lost.

Sorry for everything you would have missed out on.

He opened his arms for a hug.

You could never say no to his hugs. They always made you feel at least a little better.

"I was so scared of losing you," he whispered. You hugged him a little tighter.

"I didn't realise," you repeated.

You felt him softly nod his head.

You pulled away from the hug after a few more seconds.

He wiped away his tears.

"I'm so happy you're still here," he whispered.

"I'm happy I'm here too," you smiled a little. His eyes met yours.

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A/n- okay this is a short ass chapter butttt I didn't want to keep you waiting :)