𝑾𝑰𝑺𝑯 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑾𝑬𝑹𝑬 𝑮𝑨𝒀 ❶ - { fₑₘ. ʟᴏᴠᴇ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴇꜱᴛ} ✔

1 : ɪ ꜱʜᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴇ ᴏᴠᴇʀ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴜᴛᴛᴇʀꜰʟɪᴇꜱ .

ah fuck...so there's this girl.

she's the light of my life. her laugh gave me butterflies and her smile never failed to make me melt like putty. we're best friends, have been since childhood, i love her more than words can describe. the problem was that i'm gay.

and she wasn't.

i'm the lesbian girl who fell in love with her straight best friend. great...

"hey, hun! i've missed you today, i was all lonely and shit." she ran over and plopped down next to me, snuggling my arm affectionately. her boyfriend, thomas, he was trailing behind her with his hands stuffed in his pockets. he glared at me intensely, i assumed she felt my posture go rigid in that moment. "oh, thomas stop that. she's the last person you should be jealous of."

"uh yeah-exactly!" i agreed, squirming internally as his glare intensified. "we're friends.."

"yup! best friends!" she beamed, her bright smile made me relax. i hesitantly glanced back at thomas and shook my head in agreement, hoping he'd be convinced. his eyes narrowed at me, but he turned away with a huff. "have been since age three."

thomas grabbed her arm, dragging her away from me. her warmth lingered on my arm like a reminder that she was just in my grasp. a reminder that she slipped through my fingers, again. she glanced back at me, her face looked almost disappointed. it felt as if she, perhaps, wanted to stay with me, cuddling my arm a bit longer. but that could've just been wishful thinking.

i stared a bit longer as she turned down the hall, i felt my heart longing to be next to her. to observe her, to feel her radiance, my heart craved to beat faster. faster for her. it was becoming overwhelming, i had to push it down, lock it up and throw away the key. but, it seems the lock can only hold for so long. 

i don't know what i'll do when it becomes too much to merely push or contain.