STELLINA

9.

Chiara Rossi.

It was in the most complete confusion and in tears that I had left the Castellanos' building in a hurry, without saying a word and without even knowing where to go.  It was already dark and I didn't really know the area. It was a neighborhood that I had discovered when Marco had brought me back for the first time and I had never familiarized myself with it. Marco was taking care of my transportation and taking care of everything I needed, so I never thought to look around.

The weeks I spent at Lorenzo's had brought me very close to Marco, whom I saw as one of my best friends. It may be early, but he cared about me and seemed to do it genuinely. I had friends, but Marco seemed to appreciate me for who I was and not what I represented which made him true and unique.Plus, I felt like I knew him since forever. 

Despite my lack of knowledge of the area where I now resided, I continued my exploration of the place and walked without stopping. I felt the need to walk, to escape, to be alone to rationalize what I had just discovered. It was very difficult for me to accept the hidden face of my brothers. When I learnt this truth, I had this feeling that everything I had built, all those moments we had spent together, were a lie, that's where my pain came from. I was mad at them for lying to me about who they really were but I was also mad at myself for being blind and never noticed it. Matteo and Luca had always been for me the exemplary big brothers, incapable of hurting a fly, but now things were different and I had no choice but accept the fact that they were capable of much worse:  giving death.

We often tend to pretend that we know people well when in fact, nobody knows the other, we don't even know ourselves, so this pretension was ridiculous. I was aware that every human had a dark side, I didn't exclude myself from the lot, and yet tonight I couldn't think like that. I couldn't get used to the idea that I didn't know my brothers, my best friends and allies, who had always protected me and made me happy. The disappointment I felt was comparable to the shame I could see in their eyes. They didn't trust me, even though we were related by blood. A bond that I particularly loved and honored, and I could never have betrayed them or worse, disowned them.

My eyes moistened again and suddenly it started to rain. The raindrops merged with my tears on my face and I found this moment ironically ridiculous. No one had followed me and yet I had hoped that Luca would still try to follow me and try to reason with me. But he didn't.

After about ten minutes I saw a small grocery store that lit up the abandoned and deserted surroundings. So I walked towards the grocery store, my head lost in my thoughts. Therefore I had not noticed that I had arrived in front of the grocery store, it was only when I had run into something or rather someone that I understood I arrived in the grocery area.

I raised my head in confusion and acted ready to apologize to the person insisting on my clumsiness but the person beat me to it.

"Chiara? "

"Evan, I'm... sorry, I didn't see you."The only thing missing was that I bumped into Evan. He was already making my days a living hell, and at that moment, he was the last person I wanted to see, especially in that state.

"What are you doing here and all alone. This is not a place for you, the people here are not at all caring." I shrugged my shoulders as he spoke. He didn't know what was good for me, no one did, and I was annoyed by his remark. It wasn't nice of me to pick on Evan like that - or at least think it was, but this wasn't the time.

"I got lost nothing alarming."

"Do you want to call someone to pick you up or do you want me to drop you off at your house ?"Evan's question made me laugh inside. I didn't have a home anymore and I didn't want to go back to Lorenzo's. I would have liked to call someone but I didn't have anyone I could call. At least, there was Marco, but he would tell my brothers and for the moment I refused to be in contact with them. So I decided to be honest with Evan.