STELLINA

16.

Chiara Rossi.

Despite being late, I've somehow managed to arrive at the hospital ready to start my shift but when I arrived there, I had a bad foreboding of the day ahead of me.

But, after a few hours of usual check ups with my patients, I thought I was wrong and my mind was once again playing with me. I concluded that it was my mind playing tricks on me and recent events, my busy schedule, my lack of sleep and my loneliness were to blame. This conclusion made me sigh with annoyance and at that very moment I felt lost. Lost in time, but mostly lost in life, every day I spent hours thinking and getting lost in irritating thoughts I would say. These thoughts were causing me a lot of harm because I felt less efficient and I was not the only one to notice it. Evan had told me about it the other time and he was not shy about pointing it out to me.

He claimed that it was our friendship that made him feel obliged to point out that I was losing efficiency, because that's what friends do. But I got the impression that he was rather enjoying my lack of concentration in order to become better than me.

My shift was not over and I hated days without surgery, as they were always long and unnecessary but never knowing if an urgent case was coming up I had to be there.

As I passed the reception desk, Telma the hostess called out to me to my surprise. Usually, I was invisible and no one seemed to pay any attention to me. And I was grateful to be left alone, that's why it surprised me when Telma called me.

"Did you call me Telma ?"

"Dr Rossi, a package was delivered to you. I don't know who it is because I wasn't there, but it's for you."

I arched an eyebrow, suspicious of who might be sending me a package. Perhaps Papa had decided to surprise me to make up for his absence? This idea, pleasant as it was, seemed unfeasible. My father knew I hated mixing my private and professional life, so he would never send me something here.

"Okay, can I have it please ?"With a smile Telma handed me a large brown box and an envelope with only my name on it. Despite my incomprehension, I thanked her before heading to my office to discover this particular surprise.

Once I was settled in my office, I grabbed the pair of scissors from the top drawer of my desk and opened the mysterious box on my desk. When the box gave way to what was inside, I was shocked to say the least that my scissors slipped out of my hand.

A bouquet of flowers.

But not just any flowers, the same one that someone had left at the reception of my old building, the day I found out someone broke in. I didn't know what to think of this bouquet. What did it mean? Who had sent it ? Many questions came to my mind and yet I had no answer.

My gaze fell on the envelope, which I opened quickly, and a dry laugh escaped my lips when I recognised the handwriting and the card I had also received when my flat was broken into.

" Team up with the Castellanos ? Wrong choice of you Chiara. I thought you were smarter.

Welcome to the party, lyubov*." ( love)

What was wrong with the person behind the harassment? I wasn't part of the mafia and I hadn't chosen a "team". I didn't understand the meaning of this letter, maybe I should just let it go and get on with my normal life ? I really thought I had put all the chaos in my life behind me these past few months but it seemed that someone was taking a malicious pleasure in harassing me.

My mind agonized between calling my father and telling him about everything or keeping this information to myself. I opted for the second option and preferred to pretend that nothing had happened than it was another bad joke. The silence of my office did me more harm than good so I decided to leave it to find a human presence, Evan maybe.

Despite my annoyance with this person, he was still there for me and I appreciated his efforts. After searching for a few minutes, I found him chatting with one of our colleagues and from the serious look on their faces, I quickly understood that something more serious had happened than the reception of my bouquet of flowers or should I say roses and nettles.

"What's going on ?"

"Chiara, we are looking for you, we need you urgently. A last minute intervention on a patient, a simple case but you have to go, Evan will assist you. " The words could not leave my mouth as Evan hurried me towards the operating room. He quickly told me the purpose of the surgery and I wasted no time in going, determined to save this person. 

The man's wound on my operating table was similar to Leone Castellano's and a gunshot wound in the chest cavity, the bullet had lodged between two arteries near the heart and I didn't know if I could save him. It was far too risky to remove the bullet but I had to try.

An hour later I found myself facing the lifeless body of my patient. I had failed, I had been too rough, I had lacked thoroughness, I had lacked experience, I had failed and I had killed my patient.

Going into the operating room, I knew the risks and I knew that if I could get the bullet out, this man would be a miracle, but I couldn't shake the guilt. It wasn't me who fired the shot and yet I felt responsible. There was a long silence and I felt the eyes of my assistants on me. My gaze was fixed on the corpse of the patient. He must have had a family, a wife and/or children who were waiting for him to come back, and because of me, he will never come back.

"I'm sorry..." I whispered before pulling off my bloody gloves and leaving the room. Evan or Liam would be in charge of informing the family because at that very moment I didn't have the heart to argue with anyone, let alone offer my condolences to the family because I was the reason why this man died.