The Final Truth

The Final Truth - Chapter Ten

"Shuichi."

"M - Maki? What are you doing here?" Shuichi backed away from his door, to give Maki enough room to enter on her own and she did so, elegantly gliding in, as silent as the wind, and moved to stand beside Shuichi. "I thought you were with the others-"

"I'm just checking on you. You've been distant after..." She cut herself off, clenching her fists and teeth, her eyebrows frustratingly furrowed. Shuichi completely understood how she felt, the entirety of trial five should just... never have happened. Maki lost Kaito, and he... he lost...

Shuichi shook his head roughly. It doesn't matter. Right now Maki - who is hurting just as much as he is - pushed aside her emotions and feelings to make sure he was okay. The least he could do for her was the same. Kokichi- no Kaito- no both-? Either way... they both did their best to make sure everyone could live, happily, in peace, with each other. He really should stop hiding away from everyone. No matter what he said, or how he acted... he really hated being alone.

"I- I'm fine, thank you, Maki." Shuichi said, sighing slightly. He backed away from the door and sat down on the edge of his bed, glancing down at his shoes. The shining glint of his shoes mocked him, the light of the sun reflecting off the edge of his sole, reminding him of a certain someone's wide smile... that he could never see again.

Why is it that every little thing here reminded Shuichi of him? And why HIM? Why isn't he remembering Rantaro, Kaito... Kaede?

Part of him wanted to get all the answers....

.... the other part of him wondered if he'd ever be ready for them.

Tears built up in the corners of his eyes, as he tore his unwavering stare away from his evil shoes, his gaze resting on Kokichi's notebook once again. He felt so... so powerless. What could he really do? It's not like he could rewrite the past. A detective is only good at solving the lingering mysteries, not at stopping the actual crimes.

"Do you wanna die?" Maki glared at him, making him flinch - even though he wasn't actually looking at her, he could still feel the piercing glare directed at him. Noticing his anxiety, her gaze softened. "... Sorry. But tell me the truth. You're clearly not okay."

"Maki..." Shuichi sighed, unsure what to say. The ability to speak leaving him, he instead picked up Kokichi's notebook and held it on his lap, trying to get it to provide him support. He unconsciously traced the edges of the cover with his fingers. The unread pages beckoned him, but... this was for him, and him alone. Not Maki. Even if Kokichi had said he could show other people... Shuichi doubted he actually would. He... he wanted this book... to be his.

And his... alone.

"I've just been mourning the loss of our friends." He answered truthfully, putting the book back on the bed and under the covers, away from Maki's line of sight. "I mean... there was sixteen of us and now... only five. Only five..." The last sentence was a soft whisper, and he shamefully brought his hands up to his face to wipe away his falling tears. "S- sorry..." He shakenly apologised, repeatedly dabbing at his eyes with the tips of his fingers.

This time it was Maki who sighed, hitting him on the head. As Shuichi shouted and rubbed the back of his head, complaining, she simply just hit him again. "No need to apologise. Crying is a natural part of human life. We need to cry... to feel."

"To... to feel?"

"And we need to feel... so we can heal. A - and move on."

"Move on...? Maki, this isn't like you..." Shuichi was confused. Maki... Maki was always so... so stubborn. It took her a while to accept something, but once she accepted it, she never let it go. So why... why is she so able to let go of Kaito? Why...

... why could she do what Shuichi couldn't?

"I know." She responded, and for the first time since he sat down, he turned his head to meet her gaze. "I want to keep holding onto him. I do. But... if he saw me clinging onto the past, then well..." She laughed slightly bitterly. "He'd probably scold me for dwelling on unchangeable things. His... his death... is unchangeable. I can't live with him anymore... so instead I'll live for him."

"F... For him?"

"My life... is meaningless without him. But it is cowardice to shorten my life in order to try and see him again. Instead, I'll try to live a life he'll be proud of... and make many stories to tell him... when I see him again."

Shuichi was speechless. Dedicate a life... for another? Was such a thing even... possible? When trouble, deceit and despair lurk at every corner... was living happily for another... really, really possible? And... would he be happier if he tried that? Live a life that... that he would be proud of?

"I... I can't." Shuichi found himself saying. "I can't move on yet... not until..." A certain smooth notebook popped into his mind. "... Not until all the mysteries are solved."

"... I see." Maki replied, standing from the bed and heading over to the door. Shuichi watched her move. He desperately wanted to read more of Kokichi's journal, but... he was also incredibly afraid of what he would find. That fear bubbled up within him, like the pre-emptive emotions of an earthquake. But it's not like he could read this with Maki there.

Right before Maki stepped out of the room, Shuichi called after her. "Maki...?"

"What is it?" She said, turning her head back to him.

"... Thank you."

Maki smiled slightly, and turned away, leaving the room. As the door closed behind her, Shuichi forced his head back towards the book, picking it back up and beginning to flip through it's pages. For now he had unanswered questions to discover the answers to. And then hopefully...

... he can move on.

Hi everyone! Guess who isn't dead XD

Now exams are over I have more time to spend on this book, as well as other ones of mine. Hopefully this means more regular updates, but I unfortunately can't promise anything besides the fact that I'll do my best!

And don't worry, there'll be more Kokichi next chapter, I'm just trying to get back into the mindsets of Shuichi and Kokichi. I'm more used to writing Hajime and Nagito so yea XD

Anyways ily guys and I'll hopefully see you all soon!

But for now...

Peachy out! 😊