Peter Parker: Wow, you must really miss last year.
Matt Murdock: Why exactly...
Peter: Because you finally got 2020 vision!
Matt:
MJ: If you bite it and you die, it's poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it's venomous
Peter: What if it bites me and it dies?
Ava: That means you're poisonous, pay attention
Harry: What if it bites itself and I die?
Danny: That's voodoo
Sam: What if it bites me and someone else dies?
MJ: That's correlation, not causation
Luke: What if we bite each other and neither of us die?
Sam: That's kinky
Ava: Ohmigod
Bucky: Hey Peter, what are you doing?
Peter (in a deadpan voice completely void of emotion): Making iced hot chocolate
Bucky: wtfdemonchildgetawayfromme
Fury: Where's Peter?
Luke: Doing stuff.
Fury: I don't like the sound of that. Where's Ava?
Luke: Trying to stop Peter from doing the stuff.
Fury: And Sam?
Luke: Trying to stop Ava from stopping Peter from doing the stuff.
Fury: I see. And what are you doing here, Luke?
Luke: I'm supposed to stop you from stopping Sam from stopping Ava from stopping Peter from doing the stuff.
Homeboy Reed Richards: *throws frisbee but misses*
Sue, Ben, and Johnny: WHAT THE F*CK RICHARDS???
YOU ARE READING
A Webbed Up Life
FanfictionSpider-Man One-Shots ft. Team Red, Spideytorch, Spider-Verse Squad, Ultimate Spider-Man, Peter being a hero and Aunt May being a kween Combines elements of comics, movies, and fanlore I don't own Marvel or any related content.
