Too Far Apart

13. Ambiguity

Lan Xichen knew that he was being hopelessly anxious and anticipating uselessly. He read all the book brought to him. Revisited the rules like his uncle has been telling him to do ever since he went into seclusion, worked through some music and held Liebing for the first time in months. The week passed too quickly unlike how it had been in the past many months.

There were bad times too, when he couldn't sleep and the images of killing his sworn brother plagued him. The what ifs, the how-it-would-have-turned-outs and the whys, all circled within him unanswered. The morning were just as hard when he wouldn't get up until breakfast arrived at which time he had to put up the usual front again.

Twice Wangji visited him, showed him a new composition once and requested to play it the next day. Those were good times too, despite the guilt that ate up at him.

Today was different, just the anticipation of wait had put all such thoughts out of his mind, except the anxiousness of wait.

Breakfast passed and then lunch too but the flash of purple robes did not turn up at his door. His last hope was to see the other at the same time as last and much to Lan Xichen's relief, he turned up, after dinner.

The atmosphere was a bit awkward. Lan Xichen did not know what to say. After some silence he spoke up with some effort.

"How have you been Wanyin?" Sect Leader Lan noticed that Jiang Cheng never objects to being addressed with that name. He wants to hear being called Lan Huan but knows it was beyond appropriate to ask that.

"It's all good. How has your week been?" Despite the hesitation ZeWu Jun smiled at the friendliness of the conversation.

"It has been quiet. Wangji visited and shared a new melody and we played it together."

"I am not the most affiliated to comment on that but I would like to listen some time."

"It is a duet. If any of your visits coincides with Wangji, we will play for you." Seeing Wanyin's express pull into a frown, Lan Xichen immediately retraced, "If Sect Leader Lan would like to come again."

After a full minute of heavy silence and looking away, Lan Xichen found a positive response, "Very Well. What else did Sect Leader Lan do?"

Lan Xichen followed where Wanyin was looking out of the open door and saw the cherry blossom shedding leaves and petals into the dark. The beauty was comparable to the serene expression of the person before him.

"Read a few books. Uncle has been asking me to look into the Sect Rules again."

"You uncle will be very happy. He has been very anxious of your return to go as far as to permit me to visit you in seclusion." Lan Xichen understood what he meant. Just the jade token would not have been enough to let Wanyin meet him, had his uncle not been desperate enough.

"He wants me to resume duties as soon as possible. What did Wanyin say to him to make him agreeable to the idea?"

Jiang Cheng seem to think before speaking, "I said I wanted to return the favor when you helped me out."

Lan xichen knew that that was not all but Wanyin seemed to be closed to the topic as he stood and walked out the door. The person before him in his dark robes was a portrait against the night filled with autumn atmosphere, standing strong against all seasons. Never weathering, never crumbling. For once, he understood how lonely Wanyin must have been, growing up alone with no one to lean on. He himself had never relied or leaned on anyone but he did have his family and Meng Yao for that if ever need be. Now that he really wanted to lean on someone, when he needed it, he realized that there was no one for him to do that.