Part 41 - Obstinance

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Jase studied Paige's face from across the table, wondering if there was any way to heal the deep rooted mistrust and hatred she bore against him. She had changed a lot in the past couple of weeks, she no longer looked unwell and frail, a healthy glow reappearing on her delicate skin. Her blue eyes had more light behind them, despite the near constant presence of dark circles from interrupted sleep. 'I dream about you too', the words she murmured last night had left a hollow echo in Jase's mind. The idea that his face plagued her nightmares pierced into his conscience, but there was nothing that could be done. 

"Sorry about that," Jack breezed back into the conference room holding a slim card fixed to a lanyard and sat down opposite Paige. "Right, here's your pass. So, Tuesdays and Thursdays 10am-5pm for now, and we'll see how you go," Jack slid the pass across the table and looked at Paige a little too long for Jase's comfort. The wan, sickly pallor and evident vulnerability had been shed, letting her natural beauty begin to shine. Jack had noticed the difference too, and it made Jase strangely on edge. 

"Thanks," Paige responded gratefully and took the card with a pleased expression. She was looking forward to sitting behind a desk, filing and typing and doing things that were generally unimportant but for the sake of creating her a role. Whilst Paige worked at Building 91, Jase would be less than thirty feet away assisting with the training of the newest DEVGRU recruits, something he was eager to get his teeth into. Being a personal chauffer and tiptoeing around Paige was not exactly his idea of time well spent, though he would rather it was him than anybody else. 

Since Paige's admission of the eidetic memory skills she still possessed, Jase was more concerned than ever that she could expose herself to danger. With her new role under the watchful eye of the agency, he couldn't help but feel there was an inevitable time limit to her peace and safe rehabilitation, he just needed to make sure he was there if and when the moment came. He had of course told himself he didn't have to be so concerned. He didn't have to bother himself with any of it at all. His vigilant defensiveness came naturally, maybe in part because he was assigned to do so, and otherwise because the guilt he swallowed sat in the pit of his stomach, a hernia that ruptured constantly. 

If someone came just a little too close for her comfort in bustling supermarket aisles, passed by unnecessarily close in a corridor, deliberately stood next to her in an elevator with plenty of surplus space; the surge of protectiveness nearly overwhelmed him. He had to physically stop himself from sending the offending person flying back, instead simply positioning himself next to her or manoeuvring her out of the way. She didn't like that, she didn't like it at all. But if Paige began to feel uncomfortable he could tell; her body seized and her features froze like a doe in headlights, fists clenched tightly together at her sides, grasping tiny pinches of fabric in a desperate attempt to hold on to something. She wouldn't hold on to him of course. She wouldn't even turn to him for help, but he knew. He always knew. On a few occasions he'd taken her arm and moved her to a safer position the other side of him, and he could tell the notion of being touched by him was every bit as terrifying to her as the proximity of the stranger making her uncomfortable in the first place. 

Her stubbornness was slowly becoming a problem for Jase. There had been a couple of moments of obstinance; silly rebellions like an unwillingness to leave when he said, or walking off when his back was turned. At her last doctors appointment he'd bumped into an old comrade in the halls of the medical centre, chewing the fat idly. When Paige emerged she waited patiently for a moment as he finished up his conversation, stealing the opportunity to walk unsupervised as soon as he began saying goodbye. She had waited outside the doors in the parking lot, but Jase was furious. 

"What the fuck are you doing?" He'd grabbed her arm as soon as he came upon her nonchalant figure leaning against a wall. She yanked away from him roughly, rage burning on her face until she looked up at him and it simmered meekly, cheeks flushing red. He took some comfort in that. It was something he tried not to admit to himself, but obedience and recognition of his control and position as the alpha male he was, was important to him. It was probably why he'd never truly sustained a long term relationship, aside from his job. 

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