All in the Family

Chapter 131: The Only One He Ever Feared

To guest: Thank you so much! I'm so flattered, I too read chapters too fast and then reread whole chunks of the fic and it's mind boggling to me others do for what I write! Thank you so much and I hope the fall out below is to your satisfaction!

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"Shit," James whispered as he once again tumbled blindly around a new location without a care, all he knew was that Sirius had been torn away from him again!

"Shit," he said firmly as he saw Sirius had shut down, again. Whatever life James hadn't even been able to really revel in that had come back to his brother in that place had vanished without a trace as Sirius stayed slumped against a wall, Remus shaking him gently to rouse a response and not getting even a fake one this time. James didn't look twice at the cubicles with various pictures of Sirius throughout his life hung on the walls, surrounded on multiple sides by that ghastly prisoner photo, eyes only on the real one.

He grabbed up Sirius and made to pull him away, Padfoot only seemed able to stay on his feet because James was moving him. They were fixing this now! "Shit!" He cussed at the top of his lungs as the elevator once more refused to open, and he didn't care. He knew nor cared where anyone else was right now, let anyone else see!

"Sirius!" He held tight to his shoulders and ignored the way his voice cracked pitifully when Sirius was right back to not meeting his eyes. "Sirius, please, hit me if you have to! Shout, bloody hell sing if you must, but snap out of it!"

Nothing happened for so very long, the world may as well have really ended. James was crying now, but he brushed at his eyes impatiently with one hand and pressed the other to Sirius's still beating heart. James was beyond angry, beyond scared, he wasn't even sure how to fix this. Sirius hadn't shut down like this since his fight with Remus, and James had done nothing to fix that, just hoping they'd work it out!

The two had patched up though, and he'd thought everything had been okay. He'd known something had always been off, but some stupid insecurity for how he'd handled Peter had him asking Remus instead! He'd never have guessed Sirius would go back to this! Through every trial and catastrophe they'd faced during all of this, even during the Azkaban mess James had been there for him every step of the way to promise that would never change.

For every problem that they'd ever faced, they'd always done it together with a smile because they'd never let the world keep them down. A joke just wasn't going to fix this though, James couldn't have even if he thought it would help. All he could do was leave his hand in place and be as brutally honest as he ever could. "Please, Sirius, I won't do this without you."

He meant it, in whatever way he could. He would not damn the others to this void of empty, haunted locations forever and burn that book like he so wanted to, they'd keep going along until they were free of this or died trying, but James would not and could not keep it together without him.

James had been loved by his doting parents and given everything he could ever ask for, except a brother. Euphemia and Fleamont had tried their best, but they hadn't been capable of keeping up with their energetic child nor producing any others, so while he hadn't exactly been alone or lonely, the moment he'd stepped onto that train he'd latched onto Sirius with that fierce energy of his, the two connecting as if they were two parts of a whole instantly. He loved Remus and Peter, he couldn't ask for better friends and wouldn't trade them for anyone in the castle, but Sirius was his brother, practically his twin in all the ways that mattered.

Something finally flickered to life in those dark gray eyes as he seemed to realize James wasn't moving away. It was slow at first, but building quickly as he started gasping. Like a shroud being ripped away, every single thing he'd been avoiding came slamming down on him all at once. "I'm sorry, I-" and then he screamed. A deep ball of guilt and sorrow for everything he'd caused, ever since Remus had told him to clear off and not come back finally came loose and rattled free now. James just pulled him into his chest and held on even if his ears started bleeding.