All in the Family

Chapter 25: Mudbloods and Murmurs

"Sirius?"

"Here," Sirius said at once shuffling out of the shadows behind the door, taking Remus' outstretched hand. Remus gave a little tug, whispering, "come here," and Sirius obliging straddled his lap on a bed, now the two were forehead to forehead.

It should have felt too intimate, they'd only had a chance to snog twice and both had been interrupted, they really hadn't explored much of anything for what they were doing to each other outside of even that, so this was quite the situation for the two to just be comfortably in each others arms. It was just that though, comfortable. All the emotions boiling inside Sirius now felt just slightly simmered, like steam finding its release in a teapot rather than all stewing up inside and blowing the top.

"Now tell me what's wrong," Remus whispered, their faces so close together their lips were already brushing.

"You've got enough to deal with Moony-" he tried to protest, unable to shake those fear-filled looks he continued to give every window, like the one they'd again had to glance anxiously through to check the phase of the moon on this new night.

"Doesn't matter, I'll still always hear what you've to save," Remus stated, their hands still clasped together growing painful from Remus' tightening. His other came up and hooked onto the back of his neck, fingers playing with the long black hair to make sure he couldn't back out.

Sirius breathed carefully, closing his eyes and finally feeling his heartbeat still as he whispered, "He laughed Remus! My first summer back, and the first thing he asked me was 'what's a mudblood?' I gave him hell for saying that word, telling him to never use it again because there was no such thing, we were all just people. He promised he wouldn't, said he'd never meant to offend me. Now, bloody five years later, and he laughs! It's my fault, I know it is, I should have been around him more, made sure he never, that I never let him-"

"Let him?" Remus cut in with a deep shake of his head. "Sirius no, don't do this to yourself. That boy in there may share your last name, but he is not your responsibility! He made his own choice, he's following his parents and told you to take a hike when you refused to do the same."

Like a damn bursting, Sirius then released a huge breath at finally saying this aloud. "I know that, it's just..." he trailed off without words for the disappointment he felt, like Regulus' fate was already sealed by this lone reaction.

It had only been the chapter title, his expression had been more surprise than true cruelty, but Sirius couldn't shake it! He'd strode away through the nearest door lest he do something he regret, like use an Unforgivable curse on his little brother. It was honestly a miracle he'd found one that opened.

There was a silence before Remus leaned forward, now pressing their lips together in a firm kiss. Sirius returned it at once, craving any kind of release from his own mind, cupping his own hand around Remus' neck to tilt his head back and exalting in the almost instant relief of not having to know anything, just feel how happy it made him to share this and now have the pleasure of taking his own life by however he wanted.

Daring shot through him, and his tongue began tracing lips, seeking entrance, and as always Remus was willing, opening his mouth and the two outright snogging right there in that room. Their tongues explored every bit of reach, teeth even clicking together with the intensity and then Remus' hand moved to Sirius' hip, sitting him down tighter upon his lap.

When Sirius' hair tickled his own nose beyond his own capability to think past it though, he leaned back and brushed it out of his face, still breathing as heavily as when Remus had entered, but now for a wholly other reason. "Guess I believe you now, about that kissing others thing."