Metalocalypse: Impending Doom

Prologue

It was a normal day in the Mordhaus, or at least normal to the band Dethklok; as normal as it could ever be. In the heat of a mid-summer's day, it stood proudly and near silently, both in and out. Only nearly, because deep within the belly of the citadel, where no one else could currently hear, someone was having a literal tantrum.

"Feck! Where da Hell could it be?!" In one of the many rooms of the Mordhaus, someone was tossing liquor bottles into one big pile in the corner and digging through loads of clothes, both dirty and clean. Pickles, a red-headed and dreaded man, but more importantly known as the most famous drummer in the world, was in the middle of tossing everything from one side of his dirty room to the other.

"No, please Satan no," he whispered as he pulled his mattress up for the tenth time to look under it before flipping it over in a fit of rage and watching it flop harmlessly against the wall before sliding to the floor. He scratched at his pale freckled skin in somewhat of a panic, his breathing erratic as his green eyes darted back and forth. Where were his pills?!

It wasn't so much that he needed to absolutely take them right then and there; no, what he was worried about was that if his pills weren't in his room, then it would mean they were somewhere in the other 7,491 rooms of his shared home.

Pickles quickly tried to remember where he had been when he had last taken them. It was on his bed of course, (forcing them down with a shot of vodka like he preferred), because if it were anywhere else, he might be spotted and questioned and that just wasn't any good. Not that they ever liked to show very much affection or concern, they were just really nosy.

Forcing himself to take a deep breath and steady himself, Pickles closed his eyes to remember what happened after the fact. He remembered downing the pill and then grabbing another bottle of booze on his way to his dresser to stash the rest of his prescription, when... Murderface had showed up. He remembered hastily placing them in his pocket as he talked to the dog-faced bassist who had asked for a backrub as he usually did, and then...

Fuck, he remembered walking into the kitchen afterward for a snack and he didn't remember putting the pills back up beforehand. His stomach twisted in fear and without even thinking about it, he found himself almost ripping his door off its hinges with the force of swinging the door open, before speeding down the hall. Shit, shit, shit... No one knew his secret except for his manager, Charles Offdensen, and the doctor he forced to swear into secrecy, and that was only to further keep his prescription. If they found his pills... Though his band members were usually horrible at reading (and most other things that required basic brain power), questions would still be asked and he wasn't sure how to answer them.

Even worse, that had happened early in the morning and he was sure at least with Toki Wartooth's insatiable appetite, he would've been in and out of the kitchen plenty of times today to see it there. He had to find it and fast, before his panic flew out of his control.

Pickles sighed in deep relief, exasperation, and puzzlement all at once to see that his bottle of pills were on the floor of the kitchen, the bright orange making it stand out. How did NOBODY see it? Pickles wondered as he slowed to a leisurely walk.

It seemed like the Gods wanted to fuck with Pickles today, because in a second Nathan and Toki sprinted into the room, cackling about one thing or another. Nathan's foot ended up kicking the pills underneath one of the chairs nearby, as they sped to the other side of the room.

"Quick, quick, throw it to me!" Nathan demanded in his deep, rough voice, laced with subtle humor and enjoyment as he held his hands up to Toki, who was surprisingly slightly slower than the band's singer.

With a sharp giggle, Toki paused to toss something to Nathan, who placed it on one of the highest shelves that only he and Skwisgaar could really reach. He then turned to see the shortest band member, Pickles, and blinked. "Oh, hey. What's, uh. What's up?"