Living In Denial

23

TW's:
-Mentions abuse

George's POV

Later that evening Clay and I had ordered some pizza. Clay was waiting for it to arrive and when it arrived, he grabbed my hand and pulled me closer. 'Shall we go outside?'

'Is it cold outside?' I muttered. 'I don't have a coat.'

'I will keep you warm, that's a promise.'

I smiled and Clay grabbed my hand as we started walking to a field, looking out on a small river. We sat down on a blanket in the grass and Clay smiled at me.

'George, before we start eating. I want to ask you something.' I could hear by his voice that he was slightly nervous. I could hear it shaking a little and he was blushing.

I nodded to answer him and Clay giggled. 'Gogy?'

'Yes.'

'Do you want to be my boyfriend?

I blushed and smiled. 'I would love to. I wanted to be that for months now.'

Clay giggled. 'George, I'm so bad at this. What do we do now?'

I giggled and shrugged. 'Are we supposed to kiss?'

'I would love to,' he muttered with a blush on his face.

I moved closer to Clay and he gently pushed me down on the blanket as he rolled more on top of me. I looked him in his eyes and smiled. Clay smiled too and started leaning in now, pressing his lips on mine as I closed my eyes after that. I could see he did the same and he cupped my face, moving our lips in sync together.

This time I wasn't going to regret this afterwards. It was way better than our first kiss, knowing we wouldn't leave arguing now. He moved one hand to my hair and the other was rubbing my chest as I wrapped my arms around his waist to pull him closer.

The kiss lasted for a long while, we were both enjoying it a lot and when we broke apart, we stared into each other's eyes.

'I loved that,' I smiled.

He giggled and shortly kissed my lips, hugging me after.

'Is being gay still fake now?' I laughed.

'Yeah, so fake. I totally don't feel butterflies at all for you. I'm so asexual.'

'So asexual,' I giggled.

'I'm asexual for girls.'

'You're just gay.'

'That's true,' he giggled and I smiled as he kissed my cheek.

'Our pizzas are cold now,' Clay said, pouting dramatically.

'I'd rather kiss you than eat warm pizzas,' I giggled.

'Me too, not going to lie,' Clay laughed and I grabbed the pizza boxes. We started eating our pizzas as we were cuddled up with each other, looking at the sunset. I couldn't see it, but I still like it with Clay next to me.

After a while Clay had finished his pizza and I gave him my last piece since I was full.

'I love you, Gogy,' he smiled. 'Too bad for you that being gay is still so fake.'

'Yeah, you're right. I'm feeling butterflies for the sky right now.'

'Dang, me too.'

I giggled and he looked at me. 'For real though, I'm sorry for being so homophobic. I genuinely thought it was fake to love a boy and I always kept telling myself my feelings for boys meant nothing. I kept telling myself that I had feelings for my ex when I absolutely didn't.'

'It's fine, Clay,' I smiled. I kissed his cheek and he held me tight. 'Coming out is really hard and I have denied it for a long while too.'

'I'm sorry for kissing you before, I lied that I kissed you without a reason and I kept telling myself it meant nothing.'

'Why did you kiss me?'

'Because I was in love with you, but I didn't realise it myself. I felt tension between us and I was really attracted to you, I just wanted to kiss you. I only wasn't thinking clearly.'

I smiled, kissed his cheek again and we laid down on the blanket. 'I love you a lot, Gogy. I hope that you will forgive me fully and you will still love me.'

'I do, Clay. I still love you and I trust you too.'

Clay smiled and kissed me shortly again, standing up after that. 'Do you want to stay here or cuddle in my bed?'

'In your bed, that's warmer.'

Clay smiled and nodded, lifting me up. 'How is your face feeling?'

'It's just bruised, but it's fine. Your face doesn't look much better.'

Clay rolled his eyes and wrapped his arm around my shoulder, kissing my cheek. 'You're cute, I want to cuddle with you all day.'

'We can cuddle at night if I can stay with you.'

'You can stay with me, my mum is definitely going to be fine with that. How about your parents?'

'I will text them to ask it, but I'm sure they are fine with it. They were teasing me about you anyway.'

Clay smiled and locked his hand with mine, walking home together. When we got home, I texted my parents to ask if I could stay at Clay's place and they allowed me to after I told them he was my boyfriend now.

Clay and I cuddled up in his bed and he pulled me close to keep me warm. Before we went to sleep, we kissed for a little while. My stomach kept exploding with butterflies and my cheeks seemed to be burning. I was really in love with Clay and I was so happy, our first kiss wasn't completely ruined now.

After our kiss I had cried in Clay's arms about what had happened today and Clay kissed my face and wiped my tears away the whole time.

'I love you, Georgie.'

'I love you too.'

We both smiled and Clay let me rest my head on his chest as he ran his hand through my hair. I was so happy to call him my boyfriend and fell asleep with a big grin on my face.

1000 words