𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐦𝐞 ♡ 𝐱𝐢𝐚𝐨 ✓

alternative ending - rejection

ANGST AHEAD!!

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"ugh, i just wanted to hang out with you." he spoke through gritted teeth, almost as if he didn't want to admit that, and knowing him, he probably didn't. you only stared at him with your eyebrows knit together, watching as he stood up and extended his hand for you to hold.

you didn't say anything as you placed your hand in his, standing up as well. he started dragging you away from the swing set. "you know, you could've just told me you wanted to hang out. you've been acting strange lately. are you okay?"

"i'm fine." he muttered as you two stood under a tree, leaves falling on your heads and feeling the gentle breeze through your hair. it felt cliché, almost like one of xingqiu's books. yet, you didn't mind it- you enjoyed the calming atmosphere.

"are you sure you're okay? you aren't even looking at-"

"(y/n), you're completely over (ex/n), right?" he interrupted you, now looking you in the eye.

(ex/n), right. he hasn't crossed your mind for a while. you were glad about that, you were mostly thinking about how stupid you were to believe that you could give him another chance. but still... you didn't think you're ready for another relationship, or anything like that.

"...yes, i am. i was stupid to believe i could like him again." you awkwardly smiled and looked away, your hand moving to awkwardly touch your nape.

"good."

you looked at him, raising your eyebrows. "yes, good, i guess? i mean, thanks to you and the others. mostly you, um, ahah. yeah." once again, you awkwardly chuckled and then your eyes met xiao's who looked just as awkward as you.

xiao closed his eyes for a second and took a deep breathe, then he exhaled and opened his amber eyes. "i love you."

you felt your breath hitch and your eyes widen- so your suspicions were correct. xiao did love you.

it made you feel terrible knowing that you don't feel the same way about him.

you loved xiao, you truly do- but not in that way. he's your best friend, and you'd do anything for him, but you just can't handle the thought of being in a relationship right now.

you awkwardly looked away, your eyes still wide, and xiao just stood still with furrowed eyebrows.

"i... xiao, i'm..." you took a deep breathe, trying to think of something to say that wouldn't hurt him, but you knew that whatever you tell him, no matter how reassuring it is, it'll just lead to the same outcome.

"i love you but... not in the same way." you frowned, turning to look at him. "i'm sorry, but i can't deal with anything like this right now. you know i just got out of a messy relationship..." your voice was soft as you spoke.

xiao expected this, he wouldn't lie- but a part of him hoped you'd accept. he understood that you needed time, but he knew he shouldn't have rushed and told you this soon. he should've waited until the lantern rite festival at least, like xiangling and hu tao said.

"i-" he paused, his hand hiding the lower part of his face. "i understand. i'm... sorry. i shouldn't have..." you watched as he trailed off and stopped talking, looking away to hide his teary eyes.

"no, no! it's okay, really! don't- are you crying-? i'm so sorry!" you exclaimed, rushing to his side and placing a hand on his shoulder, frowning.

he furiously wiped at his eyes, taking a few seconds to hide his face with his sleeves, as you just stared at him with a concerned face.

"i'm not crying." he spoke, voice cracking, then he didn't speak for the next minute or so.

you just awkwardly stood there with him, your hand on his shoulder.

"(y/n)..." he spoke before taking a deep breathe, his amber eyes now visible. they looked red, and his face was flushed as he looked at you. "is... (ex/n) better than me? is that why you- nevermind. just... forget it." he mumbled, looking away from you. he gently removed your hand from his shoulder and turned around, but you stopped him.

"xiao, it's not like that. please don't compare yourself to other people." you spoke as you held his wrist, hindering his movement. "i'm just... not ready. i'm sorry, but-"

xiao huffed, wiping his eyes once again, as he removed your wrist from his grip. "yeah, it's fine- i understand. we're just not meant to be happy in this life. maybe in another life, we could be together."

"xiao, don't be like this..."

he shakily sighed, running a hand through his hair as he felt his eyes tear up again. "i'm sorry, (y/n), forget this. i'm going to leave." he said, looking at you with his blurry vision. he could barely see you- you were blended in with the background behind you.

instead of saying anything, you wrapped an arm around xiao's torso and brought him closer to you, bringing your other hand to his head and patting it. xiao didn't bother to hug you back, he just stood still in your embrace.

"we could talk about it."

"there's nothing to talk about. i ruined everything, i know. i can't force you to change your mind." he whispered, and you felt your neck getting wet- his tears, you thought. he tried to deny that he was crying, but it's still obvious to you.

you didn't know what was going on in that head of his, but knowing xiao, it was probably nothing good.

"you didn't ruin anything, seriously! you can't control your feelings." you awkwardly laughed as xiao pulled away, but the frown on his face remained the same.

he kept staring at you for a few seconds, "i'll see you later, (y/n). i can't do this right now, sorry." he whispered, before turning around and waving at you from behind his back. you noticed how he was speed-walking away from you. you didn't blame him, you knew he wanted to get away from you.

and with that, xiao left you all alone at the park, and you couldn't help the aching feeling in your chest. you hurt xiao, you understood what rejection felt like.

you knew this isn't the end of your friendship, but you also knew that the end won't be a pretty one.

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grr not as angsty as i wanted it to be but okay ig i was itching to write this

important question: which is cooler? cryo catalyst or dendro polearm?

this is unedited pls excuse any mistakes