You Look Better Dead

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If I could sing you a melody, would you listen ?

I've been constantly going over all the choices I have made in the last 24 hours. I ran away from a press conference, kissed the guy who took me away both times, and may or may not be letting him stay with me at my place.

London, what are you doing?

I asked myself hoping for a conscious answer but couldn't find one. I looked myself in the mirror and sighed. I turned the faucet on and threw some water on my face for some dramatic effect.

A set of arms wrapped around my waist and I began to smile. I turned around to see Victor smiling as well.

"Why am I so infatuated with you?" I asked him and lean in kissed my lips.

"Because you know even though I held you captive, I kept you company, I gave you someone to talk too, I also let your ex lover know where you were" He said and I paused. I pulled away for a moment and looked at him.

"You sent the tip to Khalil" I ask dumbfounded by the thought that Victor indirectly set me free.

"Well yes, i could have just set you free but what would that make me look like to my people" he answered. I sat up on my bathroom sink and he got closer to me. "The truth is, I've been in wanting you for most of these years but couldn't, my people would have wanted you dead if you were a distraction to me"

I'm not understanding a thing that he's saying. Like it's going in one ear and out the next.

"Why 19 years?" I asked softly. "Why keep me for 19 years and wait to make a move or set me free"

"19 years was a tad bit to long was it, I just had you where no one could get to you, where I didn't have to worry about you leaving" he stated. "Also your memory never kicked in but apart of me knew if you regained them you would have left on your own so leaving you without any indication of who you truly was, was my main goal, to keep you"

Again I was silent, in my head thinking about all the possibilities that could have happened. I could have been killed wait-

"Why make me kill people" I asked pushing him back some. "Why force me to take lives if you wanted me"

"My people wanted you dead, for what you did but they never knew why you did it so, to appease them and to keep you alive I made it to where you were useful" he answered as if he was the hero of the story.

"Were they innocent people"

"No, most were death row inmates and others were child molesters and Abusers"

For some reason that made me feel a little better. Like, the 19 years wasn't a complete waste but it made me miss out on all of this. The change, the revolution, the new democracy, and more importantly my sons life. I sighed and pulled him closer to me.

"I'm sorry for what I put you through," Victor whispered and I felt my heart melt. I looked him in the eyes and gave him a soft smile.

"I forgive you" he kissed me softly. I felt something I haven't felt in a long time. I wrapped my legs around his waist pulling him even closer to me. We made out in the bathroom for a little bit until I heard a knock on my door.

We quickly stoped and Victor grabbed his gun. I smacked his hand quickly.

"This is America, people knock like this all the time," I stated while watching him set his gun down. "Stay here" I demanded.

I walk to the door and look through the peephole. There stood Khalil with flowers. I opened the door and there he stood.

"Happy birthday" he said giving me the flowers. I totally forgot about my birthday. Like yeah I just got my memories back so I didn't really celebrate my birthday.

"Thanks" i smelled the flowers and they smelled nice. Khalil tried to walk in but I held my hand up. He grabbed my arm and pulled me closer. He kissed me without warning and I pushed him away.

"You do know we will not be able to do this, or whatever we had called this" I said pointing between me an him.

"Look London, I know when you came back you weren't expecting me to be with my wife but you got to understand that I didn't know if you were alive so I had to move on with my life," he said softly.

"So what now, do you think I want to go through the same thing twice, comparing and contrasting your love for me and the love you have for the women who had your child" I began to get a little angry but had to keep my cool. " look keep your flowers, thank you for wishing me a happy birthday but we're over,"

"Is that all, I saved you and now you don't even want me," He yelled. My anger level went from two to a hundred real quick. He could tell and started backing up.

"You didn't even save me, the guy who took me had to give you a hint of my location, it took you 19 years, you gave up on the thought of us when you got back with your wife, if it had been you I would have looked for a body and realized hey, something isn't fucking right," his whole demeanor changed. "So, don't come to me about this bullshit of being a fucking savior, when clearly you only was a part of someone else's plan to save me"

I slammed the door in his face and walked into my room, I practically jump on my bed and felt like complete shit. Victor walked out of the bathroom towards me.

"I heard everything," he said and he climbed into my bed and wrapped his arms around me. I bawled my eyes out. I couldn't stop crying. Victor comforted me and kissed my forehead.

"It's okay, you're safe now"