You Look Better Dead

Im Free

Kahlil.

Kahlil.

Kahlil.

That name rang thtough my head every hour. My head ached trying to create a face to that name.

Khalil.

I screamed in frustration and hit the wall. I couldn't focus at all. My next fight was about to happen and all I could think about is Victor and who ever Kahlil was to me.

A guard walked up to my cell unlocking it and escorting me to the ring. I try to push everything aside and get into the mindset of a fighter.

I get to the ring and I climbed in looking at the crowd around me screaming my name. I was the executioner to them. I play god when I take a life and it's fun for them to watch. Anywhere I go people are evil. The unfortunate bastard to have been chosen to die jumped into the ring. He looked at me with malice. That type of pure hatred that gets your blood pumping and adrenaline going.

The bell went off.

It began.

He got a few good hits in but I was faster. I had him knocked on the ground with blow to the chest.

"Kill him" was all they said. They crowd loved it. They crowd wanted blood. A knife slid onto the ring and I knew what I needed to do.

I picked the poor fella up and grabbed he hands. I wrapped his fingers around holding it in a position to make it seem he stabbed himself and I was just a helping hand. The knife went into his chest and he gasped for air until he started coughing up blood.

"Killian, I need you to keep your eyes open focus on me,"

A memory. A tear left my eye sliding down my face leaving me breathless. I jumped off the ring ignoring the crowd going crazy for yet another death by my hands.

I got to my cell and I sat on the ground. Why are my memories coming back now of all times. Years of trying to get a small indication of who I truly am and all it took was a kiss from the guy who put me here in the first place for killing his father. My life doesn't seem real.

I then heard explosions and jumped up quickly. I looked out my cell and no one seemed to notice. Like as if it was only in my head. I felt like I was going crazy. My brain was attacking itself with thoughts of my past.

"Who was I"

By the end of thrbnight I knew.

I knew who I was, what I went through, what I stood for, and what I've done. I'm London Walker leader of the Wild Cards and stuck in Russia. What a god damn life I'm living.

I laughed out of frustration. Things are looking up for me I guess. I mean where else would I be. Sipping tea, dancing the night away like some fucking queen, or maybe even having a family. That mission was supposed to be a suicide. My last ho-rah.

My head hurts. My brain hurts.

Victor shoes could be heard from down the hall because he decided having loud ass shoes would be the fashion statement of the year.

"Hello London" he said, staring straight at me.

"You know what your father said to me when he died" I whispered.

"What"

"Please don't kill me, I'll give you anything" I answered. "He was willing to give all this up in return I spared him his life" I stood up and I saw the anger building in his eyes. "But the videos of him touching children was so burned into my head that, I shot him until my gun ran out of bullets"

"My father was a good man" He screamed.

"Your father was a pedophile and I wouldn't be surprised if he had touched you too" I said with  no remorse.

Victor fell silent. Which means I was right. Another man ruined by his father. I seem to attract them like wild flies.

Victor walked away leaving me with silence that was so loud that even God himself couldn't turn it down.

Time went by and all my memories have fully recovered. I began to think about everyone I left behind. Even the son I tried to have. I wanted to prove to myself that I could raise a child in a world that I wanted to change but here I am. Raising the death tolls in Russia. Why the fuck am I in Russia. Like from all my enemies, the ones that are from Russia are the ones that got to me.

I began to think of Khalil.

Do I still love him?

Has he moved on?

Is he even looking for me?

I mean it's been a few years so he has probably given up on finding me. He probably got back with his wife, had more kids, got ugly, and probably decided to become a teacher or a doctor. Who knows. As long as he's happy.

"London is that you"

Now I know I've been alone for years in this cell and just recovered my memories but isn't it a little to late to start hearing voices.

"London"

I look over and see him.

First of all. He is still fine. His smirk made me melt and forget I'm in a cell in Russia. I ran up to him and he grabbed me and kissed me deeply. I guess that answers my question.

"I've missed you so much" he said and I felt a tad bit guilty for not remembering who he was up until tonight.

"Wait, how are you here" I asked.

"Well we have the whole place surrounded by guards and they had no choice but to surrender to us"

I blinked a few times and thought to myself. How the fuck was it that easy. Like if I had my memories lama few years back I'd probably have escaped but anyways I'm free.

"Dad"