{dreams}

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I wake up every day,
with tears streaking my face,
those dreams keeping me awake,
all night and day.

one moment I see her
the next she goes away,
and when she finally comes back
I can't bear to look at her face.

because I know that something happened
something that was a disgrace,
something that she wanted me
to save her from
in any way.

but I wake up every day,
not able to save her,
not able to keep my promise,
not able to find anyway.

because when I look back to those dreams,
and look at her face,
I see my reflection in her eyes,
showing hatred and terror, yet telling me to stay.

and yet, I can't do that,
even though I want to,
because when I look behind her,
I see
that it was me who broke her into pieces.

I am the one who disgraced and destroyed her,
I am the one who killed her inside,
I am the one who left her
when she was begging me to stay beside her.

They tell me to "man up",
that this is what people who 'man up' do,
we leave many 'her's' behind
because they are just fools.

They tell me to let those dreams go,
that it'll all be okay,
but how do I tell them,
that I was the one who didn't stay?

Because at the end,
I was the monster,
I am the monster,
but I tried to save you
oh, love,
trust me, I did
but I ended up drowning myself,
not being able to man up after all.

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-about-

written: january 9, 2021

So, here is the second part of "Man Up". I hope you liked it. Once again, this is one of the poems which I wrote at the beginning of trying to write poems, and honestly, I like them as they are, though I know that they can be improved.

-anyways, thanks for reading, people! do vote and comment if you liked it-

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