paracosm-delusional nightmares

{novaturient}

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I know I messed up that day
is it really important to blame me now?
I know I'm in no position to apologize now,
but it's not like I really wanted to either.

I sent that message
to get something in your mind,
that you're wrong
and I'm right.

but the tables just turned on me
at the worst time
because you made them believe
that it was me who committed the crime.

and now that I'm here alone
I can't help but think,
"was it really necessary
to give up my only home?"

So I cry
And beg
I cry and beg
For you to come back
Not knowing
That what's done is done
And I'm in the right,
You're the wrong one.

But still,
I cry
And beg
And cling to you
Because it's better to stick to a fairy tale,
Than live in the bitter, harsh truth.

Then one day,
I realize
That you're not coming back
Reality hits me
Like a stone in a storm.
Small but hard.

And I can't help but think,
Is it really better to live in a fairy tale
Of someone else's,
When you can live on your own?

So I cry,
And I beg,
For you to
Leave me alone.

And you do.
God knows I suffered for too long.

I make a new life,
Far away from home,
With new walls, new things, new beings,
But all alone.

And I don't regret it,
Trust me,
I really don't.
But why should I go away,
When you were the one
Who made me suffer the most?

So I cry,
And I beg,
For you to come with me to my fairy tale home
but you don't know darling,
That it's now my turn to make you suffer the most,
So much so,
That you cling to me,
You cry
And you beg me
To leave you alone,
But I won't.
Because it's started now,
And I won't leave you,
Until you're chilled to the bone
In this haunted, broken home
you created with your own hands, on your own.

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-about-

written: june 29, 2021

I wrote this poem while studying for a test. Felt really revengeful all of a sudden.
A few days back, I had sent a bit of an explicit message to someone, and those people took it to heart, saying that it wasn't true because let's be real, who wants to hear the bitter truth from a teenager? All of them turned against me and gave me speeches about it. None of them wanted to hear the reason why I had sent the message, none of them cared.
I began feeling really low and bad for the next whole week, thinking that it was my fault for speaking the truth.
Then I realised one day that I don't need them, so I wrote this poem.

I just realized how similar this one sounds to some other poems of mine, but I guess this is my forté, so I'm happy writing these kind of poems, maybe because I feel like this all day.

-anyways, thanks for reading, people!! do vote and comment if you liked it-

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