Family trip

Y/n doubts

....(from the previous part)

- Tom?

Y/n repeated wrapping her arms around my neck. I closed my eyes. Her soft finger tips contacted with my skin while her question was ringing in my ears.

- Tom, do you love me?

I looked at Haz. In his eyes was a weird mix of sadness, hope and pain.

I had  to answer.

- No. I'm sorry, I don't.

I was scared to open my eyes again when I felt her hands leaving my neck.

"God, what have I just done?..It's not right, I shouldn't lie to her.."

Cold air of the room touched the bare skin like needles, going deep to the heart. I felt something inside me aching. No, not even aching. It was trying to destroy me while getting out of my body, it felt like I couldn't breath. I opened my eyes and lifted my head up looking at the sailing. I knew if I had glanced at her the tears which were already forming my eyes would have run down my cheeks. It hurt, but I knew why I was doing it. I would never pick a girl when it comes to the choice between the best friend and the girl.
Yes, Harrison made some silly things but it's just a part of his personality. He always was the best friend ever. Always by my side and always supporting me. That's why I lied to her, I just couldn't say anything else while Haz was there watching us.

"I need to see it"

I though forcing myself to look at her.

"God, what have I done? I will never forget that face"

She was staring right in front of her, a tear was sliding from her eye. Every part of her appearance showed that she was exhausted. She didn't let herself cry, but I saw what affect my words had on her. She was totally lost. Her beautiful eyes went dark and I never saw her being that mad, sad, lost and disappointed at the same time. She was broken and I felt guilty.

- Y/n, I'm sorry.. I just- I can't.

I know I shouldn't have done it, but I did what I did. She didn't move nor answer. The air became heavy and I couldn't stand it anymore.
I took a step forward kissing her forehead. I wanted to do it, I knew that it would be the last time my lips touched her gorgeous skin which was shining in the stripe of the moonlight.
The trip was almost over, and I wanted to enjoy her company as much as I could. Even through that shit which happened to us.

- I know words can't fix it.. but I'm sorry.

I repeated again. It seemed that it could change something for me, but she didn't show any signs of her emotions. I felt dizzy.
It always happened to me when I felt overwhelmed.
I took a step forward, passing Y/n and left that terrible coridor, leaving her alone.

Haz's POV

It was hard to describe my emotions and what I felt then. Tom made his choice, it was his choice, but for some reasons I still felt like it was my fault. I just broke two people which I love the most in my life.
When he left the coridor it became even darker then it already was.

Y/n's knees slowly made their way down to the floor. She didn't make any sound when she fell on the ground. Some strips of her hair fell on her face as she covered it with her palms. Her body began shaking. Slowly at start but then it picked up the  fast beat and soon I heard her gasping for air. She was choking by her own tears, her hands were pressed to her head now. And I was just watching.

Probably I should have left, but instead of it I rushed up to her, going down on my knees and placing myself next to the girl.

"Y/N! Y/N, I'm here, everything is going to be alright, stop crying"

I whispered wrapping my arms around her, trying to cover her small figure from all the bad feelings which attacked her. It didn't help and the next thing I heard was her scream.

"Y/n, please calm down, I'm here, you hear me?"

"It's not right. I don't wanna cause this terrible pain."

A thought came to my mind but I quickly throw it out.

"She will never forgive me if I tell her"

I looked around. What a fateful thing that room was. Goosebumps ran down my skin as I felt her tears wetting my shirt.

"Harrison, stop it. You need to help her"

Standing up I pulled her along with me. Still shaking she looked me in the eyes

What a glance.. You could start fire with it. No, I would never forgive myself for doing it to her.

~

Y/n's pov

You didn't remember clearly what else happened that evening, but the next thing you knew was you laying in the bed as Harrison landed next to you, stroking your cheeks and wiping the salty tears which already made your pillow wet. You had a terrible head ache and your body kept shaking even though the hysterical condition was over..
The atmosphere in the room made you feel like something romantic was going to happen.
The bedside lights lighted up the window. Harrison's hands felt warm on your skin, his blue eyes were staring deep inside you. You felt safe.
"What if Tom isn't the right one?
Who of teo of them is near me when I'm exhausted?
Who broke me even tho he showed all the signs of him being interested in me and making me fall in love with him?
Maybe it was wrong when I rejected him?"

Your fingers reached out to his hair, touching the soft waves of them slowly. Blond hair slipped through your fingers mildly. Moving yourself closer to him, admiring his lips.

You felt anger now.

"Tom left me. I never was it for him and all the feelings I had-
Yes, Harrison is the right one. He loves me which Tom never did. Fuck him"

You approached your face to his, being ready to kiss him when unexpectedly for you he pulled away.

- Y/n.. wait.

He set on the bed running his hand trough his hair groaning.

- There is som you need to know.

There was nothing you wanted to know at that moment. You wanted to feel the empty place in your heart with Harrison's caress and nothing else.

- Haz, can't it wait until tomorrow?

You asked placing your hands on his shoulders and pulling him back to you.

- No, Y/n, it can't.

He stood up. You couldn't help it but the disappointment appeared on your face.

- Y/n.. You don't think clearly now

- Harrison just shut up and come here, I know I think clearly right now, clearly then ever

- Trust me you don't.

What the hell is going on?

- Y/n, listen. I know you will be mad at me, but please consider the fact I told you.

- Go ahead

- The truth is that Tom-

Suddenly you heard a sound of the opening door which literally made you jump in the air and you saw Paddy rushing in

- TOM DISSAPEARED