eimhear
it was an average day for us all. amelie was killing small animals, kevin was cleaning his earwax with a qtip and i was stalking my latest celebrity crush with the hidden camera i installed in their home.
"OWW FUCK ME MAMMY LIKE A WAGON WHELL OWWW " i look over and kevin is in tears as he just shoved the qtip into his brain.
"stop crying, you're getting your tears all over the pillows" i say
kevins face is covered in snot and tears. he is crying so much that he is gagging. he vomits all over our white carpet.
"KEVIN WHAT THE FUCK" i scream. "IS THAT MY FUCKING EARRINGS" i stare in disbelieve at kevins vomit as thousands of my earrings lay there in chunks. "DID YOU EAT MY EARRINGS?!"
"i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i'm s-s-sorry i was hungry" kevin sobs.
amelie hears all this commotion and sprints into the house.
"oh my god eimhear we have to get him to the hospital." amelie shrieks at the sight of the bloody qtip. kevin draws pictures with his fingers on the vomit.
"ugh," i say, "okay i'll call an ambulance"
"NO" says amelie as she does this weird karate chop thing "i've got this.." as she says this a dead bird drops from her pocket and she picks it up and eats it.
"amelie what the fuck i'm taking you back to that physiologist"
we rush into amelies fancy mercedes and quickly drive off at great speed... that is until we realised that we left sobbing crybaby fucking twink kevin in the house. we make a quick u-turn and pick him up.
amelie soars through the wind at a smooth speed. "AMELIE LOOK OUT!" i scream. amelie stops the car just in time. "what the fuck is that" we all stare as this creature gets off all fours and onto two feet. it's none other than... rabid lil huddy.
"fuck this" amelie says and runs him over, leaving his guts stuck to the pavement like gum.
YOU ARE READING
la life
Horrorthis is for me and my friends lmaoo pls dont read it (or do if you want to) its literslly just made up stories of my friends that i think are funny
